The Bleach Omake Files
by Innortal
Summary: It seems even the Bleach Universe is affected by the Infinite Loop. How will Ichigo handle being an Anchor?
1. Bleach Loops

**Bleach Loops**

Disclaimer: I don't own this series or any other series. I am just floating an idea. I am making no money, nor plan to, off this venture. If you think of suing me over this, then grow up.

I would like to first personally thank all of those reviewing my stories. I enjoy reading your comments, and try to correct the grammatical errors I miss with my final read-through as well as my spell checkers. The suggestions you all make will help make this story better for everyone to enjoy, as well as allow me to fix some plot holes I may unintentionally leave. If you find any, let me know, and I will correct them and repost the chapters.

* * *

**New Loop #1:**

Ichigo sighed as he walked towards school. It was yet another boring Loop. Once again, he'd either have to head over to the Urahara Shop to begin his 'acceptance' into the ranks of the Shinigami. Oh, he could still kick a Hollow's ass, but it was never the same without Zangetsu.

Sighing, he strode towards the school. It would be at least a few more hours before he could see once more if his Shinigami abilities—and those of his Vizard and Hollow natures—were still with him.

Of course, as always with ruts, something made by Chaos comes along to disrupt it.

"KUROSAKI-KUN!" cried an excited voice, as the strawberry-haired future Vizard was tackled to the ground.

"I-Inoue!" Ichigo gasped, as the busty girl nuzzled into him.

"I'm so happy to see you, Kurosaki-kun!" cried the girl. Orhime smiled, even as she settled—much to Ichigo's embarrassment—onto his lap. "I was worried I would forget Kurosaki-kun like he said I always did. So I used all my power in my Shun Shun Rikka to reject the loss of my memories in the Loop so that I could stay with Kurosaki-kun!" she finished in excitement.

Ichigo could only blink as she hugged him once more. Someone … someone remembered aside from him. He almost felt … giddy.

Standing quickly—which caused Orihime to wrap her legs around his waist so that she didn't get dropped to the concrete—he held her close. "You … you remember it all?" he asked, voice weak in hope.

She nodded happily, neither noticing the odd looks they were getting from their classmates.

"I even have something from the last Loop," she said, searching inside her book bag.

Before Ichigo could wonder what it was—as she already had the hairpins on her head, but one never really knew with Orihime—another voice interrupted them.

"HOW DARE YOU?" screeched a familiar voice. "How dare you steal away the purity that is my Princess?" yelled the resident lesbian: Chizuru Honshō. Her voice made Ichigo wish that Tatsuki was around to smash her away.

"… Steal?" asked Ichigo, looking down and finally noticing the intimate embrace he had Orihime in. He tried to drop her—from shock and definitely not on purpose, no matter what others would say—but her legs stayed locked tight.

Not noticing, Orihime released his waist as she stood on her own, ignoring the nervous Ichigo or the quickly approaching Chizuru. "Ah!" she said, pulling out a book.

Ichigo recognized the book. It was not a bad read—not that he'd ever admit to reading it—but it was something left behind by the self-declared tanned Goddess who told him the truth about the Loops.

It was titled: **Icha Icha Paradise: The Trio of Love**.

"Eep!" said the soon-to-be Substitute Shinigami and the lesbian, as Orihime handed him the book and used her free hands to goose the both of them.

"I talked to Rangiku about it," she said with a perverse smile. "And she said I should use this book to explore my inner desires.

"So today after classes, I want you both to come over so we can reenact the chapter where the mighty samurai is asked by both the clan heads to take them into his bedroom," she finished with a smile, before heading towards class.

Ichigo just stared. For some reason, another person 'awake' during the Loop was feeling … bad, very, very bad.

Chizuru just blinked. She could have her forbidden love with Orihime, but … she'd have to do so with this … male. _Oh well, I can always kill him later if he dare touches me or my Princess in ways that make her … upset._

"YOU TWO!"

The duo paled as they saw Tatsuki before them, staling their way, rolling up her sleeves, murder on her mind.

Ichigo gulped, wondering how short this Loop was about to become.

* * *

**New Loop #2:**

"So," said Kenpachi, emotion gone from his voice, "is that him?"

Yachiru nodded happily, remembering her actions in the previous Loop. "Yep, Ken-chan! That is the stud who made me a woman!"

Of course, she knew what she was referring to. In that Loop, Ichigo had been made a provisional captain of a new Division 14, specifically based on Earth to guard and defend the location that could be used to make a new Key.

Being a fresh teen with a crush on the one man to ever defeat Kenpachi in a battle, she got transferred—they were happy to send her away from Soul Society from some reason, even threw her a going away party, but strangely forgot to invite her—and proceeded to deal with her crush the way every woman in the Division 11 did.

She knocked him out, tied him naked to a bed, and had her way with him until she was satisfied. Hell, she even had Orihime heal his stuff after he complained it would never work again. _Guess I was just too much woman for him,_ she thought with a giggle.

Of course, Kenpachi didn't know any of this. All he knew was of Yachiru, the pinkette child; not Yachiru, the teen heartthrob. As such, he was intent on killing the ryoka who dared touch his precious charge and do such things to.

Blinking, he turned; focusing on his zanpakuto, noticing it seemed to vibrate in rage as well, wanting to punish the lolicon for his actions as well.

_Well, well; looks like you want to fight as well. Guess we can do something together, just this once…_ "Well Yachiru, shall we go say hi?"

* * *

**New Loop #3:**

Ichigo sighed as he looked around. He was back at home, back to the day he first met Rukia, back to the day he first became a Shinigami.

"Man, what a gyp," he murmured, as he walked towards school. The monotony of things were beginning to take a toll on him. Sure, he enjoyed taking down his major foes like they were first-graders, but he was missing … the challenge of it all.

There were after all only so many ways one could kill Aizen and still be funny.

"Man, what I wouldn't give for something new," he murmured.

If this was after a Fused Loop, a certain pigtailed martial artist could have warned him never to say such a thing. But sadly, our Looping Shinigami never had that bit of advice. So…

"IIIIICHIIIIIIGOOOOOOOOO!"

**"WHAM!"**

"N-N-NEL!" cried Ichigo, as he opened his eyes, spotting the very familiar green-haired Arrancar now laying on top of him, hugging him close to her bountiful chest.

The Arrancar nodded happily.

"What are you doing here?" asked the stunned teen.

"Well, I was with you on Earth when everything went real wavy. And then I was back in Hueco Mundo. When I realized you weren't around, I came right here to Karakura Town to find you!" she said happily.

Ichigo blinked. "But … how are you an Arrancar now? Aizen doesn't have the Hōgyoku yet."

"Why would I need to have that used on me again?" she asked with confusion.

**"Not very smart, King,"** his Inner Hollow responded. **"Have you forgotten? Just as we retain everything we undergo, so might the semi-loli…"**

_You are so not getting free this Loop._

**"… Dick…"**

Sighing, Ichigo gave Nel a quick rundown on the essence of the Infinite Loop—at least as he understood it from the dominatrix Goddess that had explained it to him—why else would she have worn all that leather and spoken with a heavy European accent?

"Wow…" murmured the girl. "So … I can help you out now!" she finished cheerfully.

His mouth opened to respond—wanting to remind her that aside from her, no other Arrancar existed at the moment—when he clicked it shut. This was something new, just like he had asked for. And it would be not only nice to shock the hell out of Rukia when she arrived to have Nel with him—not to mention assaulting Soul Society with her—but it would give him some new experiences. "Sure," he finished with a smile. "I guess we should head over to Urahara's shop and see if we can get you a gigai."

"Oh, can we get some for Pesche and Dondochakka as well," she said.

Ichigo twitched. "Um … do they remember too?"

She nodded happily.

* * *

In another Looping Universe, a pigtailed teen felt the sudden urge to laugh.

* * *

"So … where are they?"

"Oh, they said they wanted to see a friend."

* * *

"WAH!" cried Pesche, dodging more Quincy arrows. "Renji, was it something we said?"

"We're sorry if you don't like to be hugged, don'tcha know!" cried Dondochakka.

Uryū Ishida huffed as he drew back his bow, an arrow of reishi forming. _Why are these powerful Hollows after me? Is this another trick from the Shinigami to remove the last Quincy?_

* * *

**New Loop #4:**

Ichigo had no doubt that had he not had some access to his Shinigami and Hollow abilities, he would be dead now. It wasn't even really fair. He had yet to even make it to Uruhara's shop to pick up Kon or anything to escape his body and assume his spiritual form.

Well, that and Byakuya Kuchiki was reduced to only twenty percent of his power, even with his Bankai released.

"Stand and fight, Kurosaki; so that you may die with some honor," Byakuya said in his normal emotionless tone, as he directed the millions of sakura-colored blade fragments in an attempt to slaughter the human.

"What the hell did I ever do to you?" Ichigo cried out, wondering why no one was helping him. _Oh wait, right; I haven't met them yet._

"You will die from what I learned at the last Shinigami Women's Association," he responded.

"What the hell?" yelled Ichigo. "I haven't even been to Soul Society yet!"

"It was a series of drawings left by Rukia."

_… Oh … shit!_ He wasn't liking where this was going. If Rukia remembered how they had been in the last Loop…

"You shall die for defiling my sister," Byakuya stated, a hint of anger in his voice—which meant he was seriously pissed.

"WAH!" cried Isshin, darting onto the scene. "How could me son have fallen to plucking the beautiful flowers of—URK!"

He not had a few cuts on his leg where he hadn't made his escape quick enough, but it was definitely worth it to strike at his old man. "If you want to actually be useful; stop him!" yelled Ichigo.

"Fine, ungrateful whelp," snorted the former Shinigami. "Kuchiki-sama, I humbly beg that you do not kill my son."

"… No."

"Well, I tried."

"WHAT?" yelled Ichigo.

"Well you should have considered this before taking his sister as you did," nodded the father solemnly.

"So just because Rukia drew us doing it Chappie-style, I have to die?" Ichigo asked in shock.

"Very well, we are in agreement," said Byakuya.

Working to draw in enough energy for a Cero he hoped would be strong enough and shocking enough to give him time to find a way out of his body; Ichigo prayed this day wouldn't get any worse.

* * *

"At this point," said Rukia, flipping to the next drawing, "Ichigo moved on to using a move called the French Flipper Trick."

The teacher's tick was growing. "Ms. Kuchiki, when I asked if anyone wanted to discuss what they did on their weekend for the class, this was not what I had in mind."

* * *

**New Loop #5:**

Rukia stared hard at her readings from the Hollow Sensor. Something … odd was messing it up, making it extremely difficult to get a reading on the Hollow she was tracking.

"Excuse me?" came a confused female voice.

Rukia ignored the human's voice. No human could see her, after all.

"Yo," came a male's voice, "short girl with the bad haircut and the shoddy black robes!"

Rukia blinked at that. No, they couldn't be talking about her.

Of course, the shoe bouncing off her head sort of dispelled that notion. "Hey!" she yelled, turning to face the source of the voices.

And immediately turned back around. "GAH! I'm sorry!"

"I seriously doubt that," snorted the male voice. "You came into my room through the window. What were you expecting to happen?"

"Well I wasn't expecting that!" yelled Rukia. "Besides, people can't see Shinigami!"

"So that gives you the right to come into my bedroom and wander around, pervert!" yelled the male voice.

"Oh, go easy on her, Kurosaki-kun," said the female voice. "Maybe Shinigami don't get to have sex in the afterlife. That's really sad that all they can do is watch."

"We can do more than watch!" replied Rukia, before blushing harshly. "I mean… We do…"

"Do whatever you want, pervert," snorted Ichigo.

"Wait," he said after a few minutes, "I know you. You're Rukia Kuchiki!"

Rukia blinked. How did this orange-haired human know her?

"Is she always peeping on you, Kurosaki-kun?" asked Inoue. "Maybe she desires to join you like I am?"

"That's not it," waved off Ichigo. "I know because everyone knows the Kuchiki clan in Soul Society are nothing but perverts."

"WHAT?" yelled Rukia, anger overcoming her embarrassment as she turned around.

Sure enough, as before, the duo were nude and on the bed, the bountiful redhead—not that Rukia was jealous or anything—was on top in a position that made it quite obvious what the couple had been up to before Rukia entered the room. _How did I miss that?_

Ichigo just snorted. "Everyone knows Byakuya Kuchiki was the main reason Yoruichi left Soul Society, his constant sexual harassment forced her away. He was always grabbing her chest and asking her to call him 'Little Byakuya' like some sick little pet name."

"Wow," said Inoue. "So her being a pervert is a family trait?"

Ichigo nodded as best as he could from the bottom.

Rukia just stared, not sure of what to do now. She could defend her brother—surely, he didn't grope the former missing Captain of the Second Division, but that would mean continuing to stare at the couple who now that she was looking, had not interrupted their … act because they were chatting with her. She could run, but her family's honor would be sullied—plus the fact the window was by the bed and she had no idea if she could get around them without … touching them.

Luckily, the decision was taken from her hands by the sound of a Hollow's roar.

"Well, what are you waiting for, pervert?" demanded Ichigo. "Get out there and deal with that Hollow!"

"Feel free to stop by afterwards," offered Inoue. "You can keep Kurosaki-kun busy while I make dinner!"

Rukia took her chance and fled.

* * *

"Well, that was fun," chuckled Ichigo. Nothing ever topped the Loops where Rukia tried to prove she wasn't a pervert.

Inoue just nodded.

"Um … Inoue? We can stop now."

"…"

"Inoue?"

"Kurosaki-kun, we cannot leave such a thing unfinished," she said innocently.

"Huh?"

Her eyes narrowed. "I have studied really hard, Kurosaki-kun."

"Um … that's nice, Inoue."

"And the one thing that was agreed in all those books was that it was very, very, **very** bad to leave a guy with something called Blue Balls."

"Inoue … where did you get those books?"

"Oh, Kon was kind enough to recommend a few."

"…"

"Now, I believe the one line from the movie Kon had me watch went like this," she murmured, before…

**SLAP!**

"WHAT'S MY NAME, BITCH?"

* * *

**New Loop #5:**

Rukia blinked, not really certain how she was supposed to take this.

She had fled from Karakura town and Ichigo to save them, knowing it was a matter of time before those sent by Soul Society tracked her down, sending this time not only her friend Renji, but her brother as well.

The Quincy trying to save her was also unexpected, but he fell quickly to Renji's attacks.

What was completely unexpected was the sight now before her; namely a Vice-Captain and Captain down on the ground, severely beaten, with Ichigo standing above them, wearing a fake pair of glasses and holding a clipboard.

"As I said early, Captain Kuchiki," said Ichigo, fingering several pages, "since you have failed to offer proper and authorized documentation for the apprehension and transport of one Rukia Kuchiki, A.K.A. the Chappie Fiend, I cannot legally allow you to exit the Human World with her with the express intent of trying her."

Byakuya stared at the substitute Shinigami, eyes narrowed. How had he lost? Surely, this fool hadn't had more power than what Byakuya himself had, let alone what was suppressed so that he could enter the Human World.

"As with Section 23-B of the Soul Society Constitution as of 1872, you must have proper written authorization from both the Captain Commander of Soul Society, a Mr. … let me see … ah, a Shigekuni Yamamoto-Genryūsai as well as the signatures of all members of the Central 46, after of course they are replaced."

"Replaced?" coughed Renji.

Ichigo nodded, flipping through several more pages. "Ah, yes; it says here they were slaughtered recently by one … Captain Sōsuke Aizen. So I imagine assigning new members and cleaning up Central 46 of all that blood will require at the bare minimum of three weeks.

"Until then, you are free to return to Soul Society. I shall keep a close watch on Ms. Kuchiki to ensure she causes no more legal concerns. Good day."

Byakuya reached for his zanpakutō, hoping to be able to stop this pretender. "Scatter, Sen—URK!" he cried, as Ichigo kicked him in the ribs, launching him into a nearby light pole.

"I said good day!" bellowed Ichigo. With that, he stomped his foot, opening a portal to the amazement of all watching—hidden and in the open—that displayed one of the four Gates of Soul Society, before tossing the two beaten Shinigami through, and closing it.

"Why can't people just follow simple procedure," Ichigo muttered, signing the papers several times before slipping the clipboard into his robes. "I swear, ever since they gave Aizen a place there, these people can't follow simple procedures worth a damn.

"Now then, Rukia; I'm afraid I will have to place you under house arrest at Orihime's place. Now will you come willingly or must I subdue you as well?"

* * *

**New Loop #6:**

Ichigo waited for the right moment. Too soon and the prank would be destroyed. Too late and the prank would be confined to too small of a space to be effective.

Soon, the wind began to pick up, preparing to launch the Rescue Rukia team into different sections of Soul Society. Smiling that the cloud cover was obscuring him, he pulled out a small package and tossed it up, knowing that because of its design, it would open and scatter the prank inside.

Thus, the wind and the prank took off.

"Well then," said Kenpachi, looking at the lights of the forms above him, "which one is the strongest?"

"Hey Ken-chan, look!" cried out Yachiru, as a few pictures came floating down to them.

Somewhat confused, Kenpachi grabbed the closet one and looked at it. As he gazed down the picture, he snorted, wondering who had caught the Lieutenant of the Tenth Division that drunk to pose for such things.

"Hey, Ken-chan, look at that!" cried Yachiru, pointing at a spot further down the picture than Kenpachi had looked over. "She's got a peenee!"

Blinking, the Captain lowered his eye until… "Huh, who knew."

* * *

"I don't get it," muttered Ganju, spotting yet another group of Shinigami, huddled together, crying and occasionally throwing up. "What the hell is the matter with them?"

"No clue," smirked Ichigo from behind him, trying not to laugh.

* * *

"People are staring at us, Rangiku."

"Oh, I'm sure that it's all in your imagination, Captain," waved off the Tenth's Lieutenant as they made their way towards the Meeting Hall.

"Did you do something?"

"Me? Why Captain, I should feel insulted you would insinuate that I would do something to deserve such attention."

"I merely ask because a few are turning green and becoming sick; so I wonder if perhaps you offered to make some food at the cafeteria again."

"No; I'm pretty sure I didn't pour my booze in anything today…"

Toshiro just twitched slightly, as a nervous subordinate bowed before him.

"Sir, I bring … well…"

"Spit it out," growled Toshiro.

"Um … these appeared all over Soul Society at the time the ryoka invaded," the man murmured, holding out the folded photo. Once his Captain took it from him, he ran like hell.

"What is it, Captain?" asked Rangiku, looking over the Captain's head while forcing his in-between her cleavage.

"That's what I'm trying to find out," Toshiro growled, as he unfolded the photo, wondering what could possible scare one of his subordinates.

"… Oh my," said Rangiku, "this is really embarrassing, Captain. I had no idea you were having people take nude photos of me for your own pleasure."

"Rangiku…"

"You know, Captain; you could have asked."

"Rangiku."

"I mean, it would ruin you for all other women."

"Rangiku!"

"Hmm?"

"Look at the lower half of the photo."

"…"

* * *

"What the hell was that?" asked Ganju, looking around. "I've never heard a scream like that before."

Ichigo nodded. "I think someone got some very bad news," he said with a bright smile.

Ganju looked at his smiling face and could only sigh. _Man, Shinigami are so weird…_

* * *

"We must slaughter them all!" yelled Rangiku. "We must crush them to a fine powder! We must ensure the streets of Soul Society run red with their blood!"

"My, you seem pretty blood thirsty today, Rangiku," said Gin.

Toshiro coughed into his hand, gaining his fellow captain's attention, before passing him the photo.

Gin unfolded it, looking it over, before to the amazement of all, his eyes actually opened wide. "… Damn."

"It's not real!" yelled Rangiku.

"If you say so," said Gin, folding the photo and handing it back to Toshiro.

"I can prove it!" yelled the distressed Lieutenant. "Look!" she yelled, opening her robes.

"Hey, Jiji," muttered Kyōraku, "we really need to do some work on the ceiling." Like all others in the room, they were all staring now at the ceiling. Sure, Rangiku might have been telling the truth—a startling first.

Nevertheless, why take the chance.

"Damn it! I do not have a penis!"

* * *

**New Loop #7:**

_Ranma said there'd be days like this._

Of course, that one phrase did little to comfort him now, especially after the latest … hiccup. According to what was told to him were the Rules of the Loops, he could consider this a FUBAR Loop, if only because of what surrounded him now.

Gigai designed by Szayel, each one containing an Arrancar that in the previous Loop had become devoted servants of Emperor Kurosaki I. In the last Loop, he had decided to spend his free time in Hueco Mundo, trying to throw a wrench in Aizen's plans to see if it made the Loop more challenging.

He certainly hadn't expected to conquer it on the first day.

And he certainly hadn't expected the grand battle at the end that leveled a good bit of all three worlds to lead to this.

"So … um … son," stumbled Isshin, "who are your … friends?"

Ichigo blinked, before smacking himself in the forehead. Since his father had been a former Shinigami Captain, it was obvious he'd be able to detect the Hollow-energies inside Ichigo's personal guard.

Sadly, for Ichigo, one of his guard decided to answer the question before the Looping teen could try to devise one.

"We are Lord Kurosaki-sama's personal guard while within the Living World!" shouted Loly with her usual fanatical enthusiasm. "We are here to offer ourselves to protect our Lord from the hands of the foul Shinigami seeking to punish him for his plans of dominance!"

The assembled Kurosaki family each weakly smiled as sweatdrops appeared on their heads.

Sighing, Ichigo looked towards his father.

"O … kay," muttered Isshin, wondering exactly how he was supposed to treat this. "And is there a reason you are all female?"

Menoly snorted. "They're … busy."

* * *

"Come on, Ulquiorra!" yelled Yammy, holding a bag of money and his constantly yapping Hollow dog. "I want more of these taco-things now!"

Ulquiorra merely stared at his fellow Espada. "Do remember not to destroy the place this time after you have been fed."

Yammy could only snort. "They were the ones who ran out of those taco-thingies."

* * *

Not wanting to spend more time with his family than he had to now—mainly because the longer he stayed, the longer his father had to fall back onto his standard routine and try to embarrass his son before the six Arrancar females, Ichigo stood up. He'd rather get to school and see what else might be different thanks to the latest hiccup in his life.

It was going to be hard enough to keep Chizuru from trying to grope the more … defined Arrancar females in his guard.

_Why do I feel like I'm forgetting something, something that will likely bit me in the ass later?_

* * *

Rukia stared at her Hollow tracking phone, before handing it back to Urahara. "Damn it, why do they keep blowing up like that?"

Kisuke just shrugged. "Well, they are pretty sensitive. Maybe a powerful Hollow out there overloads it. Give me a moment to try a low-sensitivity test and see what I come up with."

* * *

**New Loop #8:**

"Um … oops," muttered Ichigo.

"Oops?" asked Uryū Ishida. "Kurosaki, do you have any idea what you just did?"

"Well, yeah," said Ichigo. "I think I got us in to Soul Society."

Yoruichi looked up at him, still in her cat form. "That wall and gate were made out of Sekkiseki stone. There is no way in hell any blast should have obliterated the door like that."

"Well, looks like you were wrong," motioned Ichigo.

True, the gate was gone.

Also gone were most of the wall on either side of the Gate and everything within a kilometer in the direction of the Gate.

"Um … excuse me," interrupted Orihime. "But what was that mask thing Kurosaki-kun did? And why did he fire a super powerful red beam of death from it?"

Ichigo just scratched the back of his head. Who knew his Hollow form's Cero was **that** powerful?

**"Boy, King; you really fucked up this time."**

"Have anything you want to say to us, Ichigo?" asked Yoruichi, glaring at him.

"You're not going to go 'naked woman' on me, are you?"

**"Wrong move, King; wrong move."**

* * *

**New Loop #9:**

Ichigo sighed happily as he leaned back in his desk at school. Yes, he felt it was time to take a well-deserved vacation Loop. He was a little tired of dealing with everything: Shinigami, Hollows, Arrancar, Vizards—or was it Vizoreds—and the assholes released whenever Aizen completed his Key.

Nope, it was time for him to relax. School wasn't an issue—he probably knew the material better than the teachers at this point. That was assuming he stayed in school. Perhaps it was time to take a road trip, see the country, maybe live life like a rebellious teenager.

It wasn't as if anything bad would happen to the ones he cared for. Sure, they might get slaughtered, but the Loop would reset and they'd all be fine. Worse case he could unlock his father's powers and send him off to battle.

Or turn Chizuru into a Shinigami? That could be fun.

Nodding at the possibility of a plan, Ichigo opened his eyes and—"GAH!"

Kneeling on his desk, glaring at him, were a pair of eyes he'd hope to not have to deal with.

"What do you think you're doing, Ichigo?"

"W-w-w-what are you doing here?" Ichigo yelled out, pointing at said figure.

The figure snorted before hopping off. "I was hoping you could tell me," she said quietly. "Tell me, Ichigo; why is everything back to the day we met?"

Ichigo paled, crab walking backwards, desperately hoping it wasn't true—especially after what he had done to her in the previous Loop.

Rukia … was awake!


	2. Bleach Loops 2

**Bleach Loops 2**

Disclaimer: I don't own this series or any other series. I am just floating an idea. I am making no money, nor plan to, off this venture. If you think of suing me over this, then grow up.

I would like to first personally thank all of those reviewing my stories. I enjoy reading your comments, and try to correct the grammatical errors I miss with my final read-through as well as my spell checkers. The suggestions you all make will help make this story better for everyone to enjoy, as well as allow me to fix some plot holes I may unintentionally leave. If you find any, let me know, and I will correct them and repost the chapters.

* * *

This group is based on a Groundhog's Day concept, if time was looping, and certain members were aware of this.

These are their insanities.

* * *

**New Loop #1:**

Ichigo blinked. He was certain something was off about Orihime; he just couldn't put his finger on it.

Red hair? Nope, still there, just as long.

Odd expression on her face? Yep, still somewhere between innocent and clueless.

Odd taste in food and cooking? Yep, he wasn't sure what was on her plate, but he did not intend to ask her what it was.

She might offer him some with a puppy-dog look on her face. No defense for that.

_Damn it; I know something is different about her. I just don't know what…_

He was roused from his musings by the appearance of a Hollow as it screamed in preparation for battle.

"Ichigo," said Orihime, "is it time for the kicking of the donkey?"

He blinked at that. "Donkey?"

Orihime "Starfire" Inoue nodded. "That is the correct phrase, yes?" she asked, green eyes looking at him in confirmation as she floated beside him.

Odd phrases? Yep. "Um … did you change your hair?" He was certain something was different, damn it!

* * *

**New Loop #2:**

"That was a dirty trick, Orihime," growled out Ichigo as the bouncy redhead led him towards Urahara's shop.

"No it wasn't," she replied with a smile.

"You told my old man that Rukia ran away because she was carrying my baby," he hissed. "And since when did you do stuff like that?"

"Oh, I learned a lot during that last Fused Loop from Nabiki-sama," Orihime said with utmost respect.

Ichigo promised to pay back Nabiki for warping innocent Orihime into someone who would tell his father with a complete straight face and tears that he had knocked up two girls out of wedlock and one had run away in shame.

"And we have to go rescue Rukia!"

"Rukia's been awake long enough to save herself," he replied. He had watched her after all nail Byakuya and Renji in the groin, calling them weak-willed losers, and then drag them back to Soul Society, all the while bitching about her complete lack of a trial.

And that was after she threatened to nail him in the groin extra-hard if he spoiled her plans this Loop. It may not cause permanent damage, but he had no desire to be kicked in the groin by a small woman who lifted a man twice her weight and three meters in the air with that kick.

"But it is tradition!"

"Calling me 'Kurosaki-kun' is a tradition. Kon's doll body is a tradition.

"Setting me up to be nailed in the groin for spoiling Rukia's fun is not a tradition!"

"But storming Soul Society is," Orihime replied.

"… Did Nabiki teach you something else?" asked Ichigo with worry in his voice. The brunette had already twisted the girl.

He just had no idea how much.

"Ah, I see you've arrived," said the smiling former Shinigami, waving his fan in front of his face. "My, you've even achieved shikai! You'll need it."

"Yeah, I kinda figured that," mumbled Ichigo, staring at Orihime, wondering what she was up to. Was she going to pull the same trick here that she had pulled at his house? Or was there something else she was going to try.

Orihime just smiled. "We must go save Kuchiki-san!" she cheered. "We can't let them steal Kurosaki-kun's baby's mama!"

"… WHAT?" yelled everyone, staring at the substitute looping Shinigami.

Tackling him, it appeared to the others that Orihime was simply giving him a hug.

"This is payback for missing our last date," she whispered into his ear, being certain not to do so in any way that Yoruichi could pick up with her cat ears.

He could only pale at his advancing friends, realizing a truth Ranma had once told him.

Beware the quiet ones, for they are the most dangerous.

* * *

**New Loop #3:**

"Okay, that's enough of that," said Ichigo, as the rogue Captains stopped their ascent towards the open Garganta.

"About time," said Uryū. "I was wondering when we were going to wrap this up."

Chad just nodded.

"Wrap what up?" asked Yoruichi, eyeing Ichigo with suspicion.

"Why the Mystery of the Evil Geek," said Ichigo, forming his Vizard mask and allowing it to heal him. Sure, he could have gone full-Hollow, but most of Soul Society was of the 'shoot first and send the remains to Mayuri' mindset.

"I first grew suspicious when I was playing around with Rukia's sleeping form and pulled out the magic orb from inside her," he started, ignoring said woman's shrieks of rage, Aizen's stunned look, and producing the Hōgyoku. "It took us fifteen minutes and letting Orihime run wild at a craft shop to produce the one you have. Man, it took us probably seven hours to get the fake back into Rukia."

"I'LL KILL YOU, YOU BASTARD!" cried said woman.

"Quit making it like I molested you," said Ichigo, dismissing his mask. "I mean, all I did was drug you, take off your…

"Never mind, we have to focus on the case," he continued, ignoring Rukia's escalating shrieks.

"We thought about giving it to Urahara-san to identify," said Orihime. "But considering he hasn't been able to turn a profit on his store in fifty years, we decided he might not be that smart and decided to play around with it ourselves."

"But then we became bored with that, went to Hueco Mundo, conquered it while you were away, made Arrancar with it thanks to Orihime negating the awakening period for it, and came back in time to find out Rukia got kidnapped in the middle of the night on a run to get some Power Ranger panties," offered Uryū.

"I WAS KIDNAPPED TRYING TO PROTECT YOU!" yelled Rukia.

"But coming to Soul Society and from our talks with the Arrancar Swim Team," continued Chad, "we learned that they had been led for a time by a Shinigami Captain. They offered to describe him, but 'Conan' was on and we wanted to see his monologue."

"So when we finally entered Soul Society, we began investigating the captains," stated Ichigo.

"We went through your mail, your clothes, tried a few on, made some crank calls, emptied your fridges, and issued fake orders to your squads for shits and giggles," stated Orihime.

"We also started the Case of Why the Fourth Squad Captain and Lieutenant Pad Their Bras," stated Uryū, holding up said pieces of lingerie.

The Captain-Commander twitched, now knowing why seven squads had been sent to the real world on junk-food runs.

"Our big break came when we saw a bunch of people crying over a sword stuck in the wall," offered Chad. "We figured that had to be a clue … that or your people need some serious psychological help."

"But the major break came while we were exploring the Old Haunted Central 46 Chambers," continued Orihime. "We were just eating all the food you guys brought back for us, drinking the liquor, when our main suspect showed up, stole some of our vodka, thinking it was water, and blabbed his entire plan while drunk."

Aizen growled. Well, that probably explained how he had lost twenty hours and awoke to be wearing a pink leotard. It truly seemed the beating he had given Gin because of it **had** been senseless.

"So the real villain here is … Soifon!" cried Orihime.

"What did Soifon do?" asked Chad.

"… Oh, my bad," said Orihime. "I figured it was her somehow, she keeps staring at me."

Said Captain blushed. It had been just an angry stare at least.

"Was she staring at my breasts?"

Now it was an embarrassed and angry stare.

"Anyway, we just need to unmask Aizen and—"

"He's not wearing a mask," commented Uryū.

"Really?" asked Ichigo. "Damn, he's ugly.

"Anyway, we're off now," he stated, as a Garganta opened behind them, revealing several human-like figures that many identified as Arrancar. "Apparently, Nnoitra has never been to a KISS concert."

Said Arrancar had his face painted and was flicking his tongue like said-band's member.

"Later," he waved, as the portal closed in both the sky and with the invaders of Soul Society, leaving the three Captains to the mercy of their fellow Shinigami.

* * *

"Well, that was fun," stated Ichigo with a smile, as the group appeared inside the concert.

"I'd change the locks when you return home, Ichigo," stated Chad.

"Did that before we left, even got ones I know she can't break through and created some wards to ensure she doesn't use kido or her releases to slaughter me in my sleep."

"Better," said Uryū, "I don't want this Loop restarting until we've done this to the Bount."

"Should we really have said those things about Rukia?" asked Orihime.

"Remember what she did a few Loops back with the jello, the fish-Hollow, and Chizuru?"

"… Can I have a t-shirt, Kurosaki-kun?"

* * *

**New Loop #4:**

_A Loop for Emperor Kurosaki I…_

Tatsuki winced as Orihime applied the antiseptic to her wounds. "You know, for a mouthy little twit, I certainly didn't expect that girl to fight so dirty," she commented.

During class today, one of the new transfer students had mouthed off to Orihime. Being the self-declared Big Sister to said girl, Tatsuki immediately got into the new girl's face, demanding an apology.

The girl—Loly if she remembered correctly—had stated she stood by her words.

The resulting fight had been less about martial arts and more about hair-pulling—which Tatsuki had the advantage of short hair compared to Loly's pigtails—and biting—damn new girl had actually tried to rip off chunks of flesh.

"I just don't know why that bitch was hanging around Ichigo so much," she muttered.

"Oh, she was part of Kurosaki-kun's royal guard," said Orihime.

"… What?" asked Tatsuki, not believing her ears. Certainly she had heard that wrong.

Orihime just nodded. "Apparently, Kurosaki-kun is royalty from somewhere. They kept referring to him as Emperor Kurosaki I," she stated, finishing the wrap around Tatsuki's left arm.

"… You're kidding me."

"Nope," said Orihime, beginning the work on Tatsuki's right arm.

"Ichigo is royalty?"

Orihime just nodded.

"Well why didn't that jerk tell us?" Tatsuki growled. Surely they were good enough friends after all these years that the guy would have told them he was some sort of foreign ruler now. _Although… You know, it does somewhat explain his Old Man. The way he acts, he couldn't have been raised in Japan._

"I think he just found out this weekend," stated Orihime.

"Then why was that bi—girl," said Tatsuki, catching herself, "why did that girl yell at you?"

"Oh, she said I wasn't allowed to hang out with Kurosaki-kun anymore because I wasn't even fit to be Kurosaki-kun's concubine."

Tatsuki could only blink, not liking where this was headed.

Orihime's smile grew as she finished wrapping Tatsuki's arm and gingerly hugged the girl. "But then you said you would prove her wrong about her attitude and defeated her, so now I can be with Kurosaki-kun!"

"… AS A CONCUBINE?" bellowed the short-haired girl.

"Well, I suppose so," said Orihime, pausing to think. "Maybe. I'll have to ask.

"Oh! Maybe since you defeated her, you can be a concubine too!"

"… Do you even know what a concubine is?" Tatsuki asked, hoping that this was something Orihime didn't quite get.

She wanted to scream when the girl flushed.

* * *

"But my Lord!" begged said bandaged gigai of an Arrancar.

"No more fighting," Ichigo sighed as they walked home. "And no, I am not giving you permission to leave your gigai to fight my friends. You only get to leave that body when fighting Shinigami, Arrancar, Vizards, or Bounts."

"What are Bounts?" asked Menoly.

"Hope you never find out," grumbled Ichigo.

"AS YOU COMMAND, MY LORD!" said Loly, saluting.

Ichigo merely palmed his face and continued walking home. "This is going to be one long year," he muttered. He hadn't even been dragged into Soul Society business yet and he was already hating this Loop.

* * *

"Hmm," said Kisuke, looking over his instruments. "This can't be right."

"What can't?" asked Rukia.

"Well, if these instruments are correct, the entire town of Kurakara is filled with massive amounts of Hollow spiritual energy. But if that were true, they'd be everywhere devouring human souls. And since we haven't heard any screams or roars from Hollows, that simply can't be the case.

"Maybe I need to go out and look around at my sensors," he murmured.

* * *

"What is this?" asked Fishbone D, looking at the small Hollow dog standing before him, wagging its tail.

"Yo quiero Taco Bell," spoke the dog.

"… What? AHHH! MY LEG! LET GO OF MY—AHHH!"

* * *

"There he is, Ulquiorra," said Yammy with a smile, picking up his pet, the lone thing he would never destroy … unless it pooped on him.

Then it was paste.

**"BURP!"** belched the hollow animal, spitting out a white fish-themed mask.

"Is it healthy for him to do that?" asked Ulquiorra.

Yammy just shrugged. "Was the thing's fault for being near him when he was hungry.

"Now let's head back to the Emperor. His human sister said she would be making tacos tonight."

"You do realize that if they do not meet your high standards, slaughtering her is not an option."

"… Well now I do."

* * *

**New Loop #5:**

Ichigo could only blink. "Did that Arrancar version of Ron Jeremy just drop his pants and fire a cero from his..."

"I ... believe so, Kurosaki-kun."

"... I'm out," stated Ichigo, putting his zanpakuto away. "I don't want to play anymore."

* * *

**New Loop #6:**

Ichigo blinked as the world slowly came back into focus for him. He had to admit, Ranma had been right on when he claimed that no matter what, the beginning of a Loop always left you disorientated for a bit.

For Saotome, it usually meant he started a Loop being unable to avoid receiving a Stop Sign to the back of his skull.

For Ichigo, it was never so bad.

But then there were days like this.

The surroundings were not of Earth, nor were they of Soul Society. The drab landscape, endless desert, and oddly forever moon pretty much concluded for him he was in Hueco Mundo.

"Oh, this can't be good," he muttered. Loops beginning in the Land of the Hollows never ended well … for his sanity, at least.

_Let's see here… Yep, two horns on my head. I'm in my Hollow form._

_Shit._ Nothing good would come from that. Aside from having to get a massive haircut when he returned home, Hollows tended to be drawn towards the most powerful one around.

"First thing first," he stated, his voice modulated as always. Turning around, he prepared to open a Garganta back to the human world. Afterwards, it would be easy to crack his mask and revert to his standard soul form, maybe even Shinigami until he could sneak Kon's modsoul pill and something to separate a soul from a body—lest he leave Kon in charge of his human body and that never ended well.

"Something's wrong here," he murmured, noticing that the dimension wasn't tearing. "Did the Old Man have a new barrier put up?" he asked, scratching around his Hollow Hole, feeling a strange itching sensation.

_Maybe it just blocks high-level Hollows…_ Shrugging and deciding it was worth a risk to see if he could open it as a full Shinigami, he closed his eyes and brought his fist to bear on his mask.

"OW!"

Sadly, it didn't break.

Itching his chest once again, his shoulders sagged. Something was definitely wrong. He couldn't change back, he couldn't open a Garganta, and he really wasn't in the mood to go looking for a Menos to force one open, assuming it was a problem just with him.

"And why the Hell does my chest itch?" he bellowed. "I swear, if I somehow got the equivalent of Hollow fleas, I'm blowing this dimension apart!"

His day got worse as he saw why his Hole was itching.

Inside the Hole, suspended perfectly, was the Hōgyoku.

"… Ffffffffffffffuck!" he spat. _Okay, never eat the Hōgyoku again and forget to remove it before the end of the Loop. Now I know._

_NOW COME OUT OF THERE!_ he internally ranted, trying to pry the Orb from its resting place. But try as he might—including several low-powered Cero blasts—it refused to budge.

"Well, this sucks," he muttered, tapping his foot, trying to think of a way to get the Hōgyoku out of his body. No doubt, it was what was messing with his shifting, probably the Garganta generation as well. And since not even its creator knew, all that the Orb could do and the general luck of an Anchor, nothing good would come of this.

And it wasn't as if he could simply kill himself and be done with it. Hell, for all he knew, until he extracted that bobble, this was his new starting point. For all he knew, it could send things spiraling out of control, resulting in him being gender-switched and the target of the school's most infamous lesbian lecher. "This day can't get anymore worse."

And as the Unspoken Rule was violated—never, ever tempt Fate to such a challenge—it happened.

"Such power…"

Blinking, he slowly turned, noticing that in the time he had been wallowing in misery, he had been surrounded by dozens of powerful Hollows, many he recognized as resembling the Released States of Aizen's Arrancars.

And they were kneeling.

"Well … this can't end well," he murmured.

**"Hail to the King, baby!"** offered his mirror half.

* * *

**New Loop #7:**

Captain-Commander Genryūsai Shigekuni Yamamoto looked on as the gathered captains turned towards the main doorway to their chamber, expecting the arrival of Captain of the Sixth Division: Byakuya Kuchiki and his Lieutenant: Renji Abarai, to give their reports of the capture of the traitor: Rukia Kuchiki.

Thus, it could be forgiven that instead of seeing the duo enter in the normal manner expected of such seated members, both entered hobbling along, Renji leaning heavily on his released zanpakutō to make it inside. Both were bloody, sporting several gashes. Even Byakuya's ornamental headpiece (kenseikan, a symbol stating he was the head of the Kuchiki clan) was shattered.

Kenpachi snorted. "I take it your little sister was too much for you?" he asked with a maddening sneer.

"Not her," grumbled Renji. "It was that bastard human soul she transferred her powers to."

"Explain," simply stated Yamamoto, power hidden in his voice.

Byakuya forced himself to stand tall—a hard prospect considering he believed his pelvis was likely cracked. "After apprehending the target, the human appeared in soul form, stating he would not allow her to leave the Living World until such time that she had paid her back-rent and accrued debts."

A few of the captains could only blink, their minds entering a WTF-moment, while others glared that the Sixth Division Captain, believing him to simply be making up such an excuse. After all, surely such a newly empowered soul could never do such to those of such standing and skill. More likely was that Rukia had resisted and discovered what most of Soul Society would have known had her clan head not banned her from taking the Seat Exams.

"And he did this to you?" asked Yamamoto.

Renji nodded. "We tried to request Gentei Kaijo, but he destroyed our phones."

"And all this … because he didn't want Rukia running out on her bills?" asked Gin, smiling and giggling a little. "My, I had no idea such force was necessary to make the Kuchiki clan pay their debts."

If looks could kill, Byakuya's look at Gin would have vaporized him and the wall behind the smirking man.

"He also gave us a note, told that it was to be read before the other Captains," commented Renji, reaching into his robes.

"Oh?" asked Aizen.

"Go and read it," stated Mayuri. "I find myself most curious as to what is said. If nothing else, it can be used to add to the crimes of this interesting human soul." Oh yes, it appeared it was time to head to the Living World and acquire a new sample.

Nodding, Renji read it aloud.

_Dear Soul Society,_

_If you are hearing this, then the tattooed guy with the bad haircut stayed alive long enough to reach you._

_Since the clan head of Rukia's now has her bill, I expect payment in three days or I'm coming for it. Don't care about your 'No Trespassing' wall._

_Aizen, I know what you want. Well, tell your two cohorts in treason that I already removed the Hōgyoku from where it had been buried inside Rukia._

_Tell Byakuya I did it while nailing his adopted sister._

Renji paused, feeling a spike in killing intent coming from his captain, as several of the others stared in confusion at Aizen.

"Explain, Aizen!" demanded Yamamoto.

"Obviously, lies, sir," stated Aizen, his mind trying to come up with some way to either confirm or deny the human's claim.

"We shall discuss this later," stated the old man with finality. "Is there more?" he asked Renji.

Nodding, the Shinigami continued.

_Aizen, I also took over Hueco Mundo and your Arrancar army you had planned. I have already used the Hōgyoku. Stay off my new lawn. By the way, does Hueco Mundo ever have a sunrise? I've never seen one there._

_Later, see you in a few days when I come to collect from Byakuya. And stay off me, pervert. Yoruichi told me how you sexually harassed her._

Renji actually had to take several steps away from his captain as the killing intent surged, burning the floor slightly.

Soi Fon glared at her fellow Captain, wondering what truth the letter had.

_Love, Ichigo Kurosaki_

_P.S.: I am not dealing with any debt my father left._

_P.P.S.: That includes arranged marriages or such._

_P.P.P.S.: Ha-ha-ha-ha. Please turn over page._

_Ha-ha-ha._

Blinking, Renji folded the letter back up. Somehow, he just knew this wasn't going to go over well for Rukia. _I need to train and master my Bankai, so that I may face him._

_How did he master Bankai and Shikai in the time he had Rukia's powers?_ he wondered. Surely, this was a rare man with grand intelligence and strength of will.

* * *

"I don't know if this is wise, Ichigo," stated Kon from inside a Gigai that Ichigo had had Szayel create for the Mod Soul.

"You know, we could always leave this strip club," offered Ichigo.

"Not that!" yelled Kon. Was this guy mad?

Well, he was hanging out with a few Arrancar, so maybe… "No, I was referring to what we ordered. It's too early for shrimp in my opinion."

"Hey, you can complain when you get a job and pay for your own money to tip the strippers," stated Ichigo. "Now relax, we invade Soul Society in a few days.

"And remember, Yammy; no sex in the Champagne Room!"

* * *

**New Loop #8:**

Rukia blinked as she looked at her Hollow Detector. For some reason, it was saying a nigh-impossibly large signature of two Hollows before her.

However, that couldn't be right. With such strong Hollows nearby, space would be warping. Hell, humans should be screaming their heads off as they dropped dead; roars of the Hollows should be heard. Instead, all she heard was—

"Banzai, Kurosaki-sama! Banzai!"

Well, that wasn't what she had expected. "What the hell," she muttered, rushing forward to find the source of her trouble.

And she found it … in front of a line of several dozen souls. "The hell?" she asked.

The soul before her turned around, looking at the girl. "Where the fuck did you die at?" he asked, giving her a hooded glaze.

"Excuse me?" growled Rukia.

"Just the outfit, kid," waved off the man, assuming the poor child had died during some play. "Now stop bothering me, this Arrancar training sounds like a pretty good deal."

Rukia blinked, before stepping out of the line and moving towards the front, her hand on her zanpakutō, ready to strike.

What she found was a standard booth, complete with a black man and a white woman, handing out flyers and talking with two people.

"Emperor Kurosaki-sama is beyond moral reproach!" exclaimed Arrancar Zommari Leroux. "While he allows for pacifism with the Shinigami swine, he acknowledges that we as Arrancar must rise above our baser Hollow instincts and achieve a higher level, a level beyond those foolish Shinigami, a level beyond which we bring ourselves closer to the true King!"

"O~kay," muttered the human soul before him. "But how does this differ from that church's promise I passed by to work every day?"

Blinking, Rukia turned to face the white woman.

"And as you can see," stated Nelliel Tu Oderschvank, "that with the 'Ascend Now, Pay Later' plan, you can be the dominant personality in a Hollow form of your choosing, thus granting you a higher chance of ascending the ranks and perhaps even reaching Espada like me," she offered, showing her badge that stated **"Nelliel Tu Oderschvank: Rank 3 Espada"**.

Rukia just blinked. She had no idea what Arrancar were, but they seemed tied to Hollows. "Stop this!" she yelled.

Zommari gave her a hooded glaze. "So, the evil Establishment is here to repress us once again!"

"… Huh?"

"She is here to trounce your rights! To subvert your free will to express yourselves as Arrancar loyal to the Great Emperor!"

"No nukes, man!" cried one soul in a tie-dyed shirt.

"… Look, she forces us to side with hippies!"

"Yeah!" cried the human souls. "The Man is trying to keep us down!"

Nelliel sighed, rubbing her forehead. "Every day he does this," she muttered. Tomorrow, she was working with Ulquiorra. He never caused any trouble.

And if patterns remained the same, he was about to…

"Suppress, Brujería!"

* * *

Kisuke could only blink as he spotted the Shinigami female before him, eyes unfocused, a strange symbol on her forehead, flyer in her hand.

"Come," she said it a vacant voice. "The Arrancar need you to serve in the army of Lord Kurosaki…"

"… Damn religious nuts," he groused, closing the door.

* * *

_Five minutes later…_

"I said," growled the controlled Shinigami, "our Lord needs you!" she bellowed, zanpakutō at Kisuke's neck.

"Um … can I see a flyer?"

* * *

**New Loop #9:**

He lay there, staring at the ceiling, noticing how the light from the sunrise was slowly filtering in. Somehow, he found that comforting and ironic, considering what was very likely to happen when those beside him woke up in a few minutes.

It hadn't been meant to end like this. He had taken a chance and asked Orihime out, since he began the Loop a few days before Rukia's arrival. In fact, he was taking a semi-vacation, just going to enjoy himself.

Hell, he invited Tatsuki along for two reasons.

One, she would have followed them anyway to ensure Ichigo never did anything wrong with Orihime—which was under the assumption Orihime would say no to begin with or that Ichigo would ever force her.

Second was to deal with the rumormongers who would pop up tomorrow, namely a certain glasses-wearing Orihime-fangirl. If Tatsuki said nothing happened, Heaven help those who said otherwise.

But that wasn't why Ichigo felt the hangman's noose closing around his neck. No, that had to deal with the results of letting Orihime pick the place for them to eat at. She had claimed she heard other students talking about it, raving about their tea. So they went, ordered some pitchers of tea and some snacks.

It was only now that Ichigo put together a few things. One, the teens weren't raving about the place for its tea, but for the fact they never checked ID to ensure you were old enough to purchase said tea.

Two, the tea was Long Island Ice Tea.

So while he had a small headache and almost no memory past the first half hour at the place, he liked to think he was smart enough to put together what had occurred afterwards.

Raising his head slightly, he could explain some of the ache on his chest by spotting two tattoos. So it was safe to say while drunk, they had at least visited a tattoo shop. _I swear, that one on my right side looks like that robot Orihime said she would be in the future…_

Looking towards the bare floor, he spotted several takeout boxes, so it was either they had gotten some food or Orihime hadn't cleaned in a while.

Lastly, taking in his own nudity and those of the girls beside him—including a shocking tattoo on them as well—he could conclude things had gone pretty far last night.

And that was why he now felt the hangman's noose. Because as soon as they awoke, Tatsuki would kill him and dispose of the evidence. If not her, than Sora's spirit would turn Hollow to avenge his sister's honor. And if not him, than if she ever learned of it, Chizuru would slaughter him in the bloodiest and most painful way possible for 'soiling her hime'.

So he laid there, waiting for death to come, and cursing his damn luck. It was probably the greatest night of his life.

And he had no memory of it! _So unfair..._

* * *

**New Loop #10:**

Kenpachi stared at the sight.

Yachiru stared at the sight.

"Okay, this is new," he grumbled.

Across from them, wearing the exact outfits, down to the hair ornaments and eye patch as they were, were two of the ryoka.

"Who are you?" demanded Kenpachi.

The figure with almost orange hair sneered, pulling out his zanpakutō slightly. "My name is Kenpachi Zaraki," he claimed. "This is my Lieutenant, Yachiru Kusajishi."

"Hi!" waved the sea-green haired child riding on his shoulder.

"Wow, Ken-chan," murmured Yachiru.

Kenpachi just rubbed his forehead. "I don't know how or why, but you can bet that fucker Mayuri is involved in this somehow."

'Kenpachi' growled. "What has that pale skinned fucker done this time?"

"Hey, Ken-chan, does that mean there are two Ken-chan now?"

"Yeah!" cried 'Yachiru'. "That means twice the fun!"

"Well," smirked 'Kenpachi', "it would make for a nice battle, yeah…"

"But don't we have to hunt down those ryoka, Ken-chan?" asked 'Yachiru'.

"Fine," growled 'Kenpachi', placing his zanpakutō fully back into its scabbard. "But after we get them, we get to find out who is the better Kenpachi."

"I like your style, clone," smirked Kenpachi, as the duo raced apart, the children on their shoulders giving bad directions.

* * *

"I can't believe that worked," chuckled 'Kenpachi'. "I thought for certain they would have seen through the disguise. Man, how bad were the clones that freak made before?" he wondered.

"You were great, Nel!"

"Yeah! I helped Itsygo!" cried the chibi-Arrancar, as the duo made their way deeper into Soul Society.

It became even better when a Hell Butterfly soon arrived, stating from Kenpachi about Mayuri making imperfect clones of him and Yachiru.

"I wonder how much longer we can play this?" he asked allowed.

* * *

"And I'm telling you that these two are likely more of Captain Kurotsuchi's clones. Look at her bust and the emo-waves coming off him!"

Orihime and Uryū could only blink at the arguing Shinigami before them.

"I don't know what is going on," said Uryū, adjusting his glasses, "but I am certain it is Ichigo's doing."

* * *

**New Loop #11:**

Ichigo could only stare, looking at the newest 'Kurosaki family pet' his father had acquired, as his two sisters looked on.

Yuzu gave a happy squeal, wanting to hold it after Ichigo was done.

Karin gave it a hooded glaze, wondering what her father had given to pay for the odd creature.

"Isn't it sooooooo cute!" cried the former Shinigami captain-turned-father. "And it only cost me five hundred yen!"

"And the fact it was so cheap didn't send up a warning?" asked Karin.

"What is his name?" asked Yuzu, still cooing at the creature.

The creature seemed to start humming a tune, eyes closed, making Yuzu nearly take her brother's arm off as she removed it from his grasp and cuddled it.

"Well, it didn't have a name already," offered Isshin. "So I'm sure my darling little girls can come up with the perfect name for it."

"What is it, anyway?" finally asked Karin.

"Oh, the guy called it a mogwai," stated Isshin. "He gave some warnings, but I wasn't really paying attention."

Ichigo could only twitch. _I wonder if I can spend the Loop living out of Urahara's…_ Somehow, he knew nothing good would come out of this Loop.

* * *

**New Loop #12:**

_You know, I'm not sure how, but I'm going to take a guess that Ranma is at fault for this … somehow._

It was meant to be such a simply Loop. Thanks to having absorbed the Hōgyoku, he found the inner barrier between Shinigami and Hollow becoming easier to cross. So it was easy enough to disguise himself as a natural Arrancar—Aizen loved them—and make his way into Las Noches.

_Which reminds me, I need to kill Urahara in a very painful manner for his idea of what constituted a disguise. I don't know how that asshole convinced me to do this!_

Janitor! He was to go undercover as a janitor in Las Noches, wearing a hooded cloak that would hide his power levels. If not, even Aizen would be able to tell that the supposedly natural Arrancar was easily a Vasto Lorde.

But that wasn't why he was cursing Ranma.

No, that reason went by the name of Cirucci Thunderwitch. Said current Espada/future Privaron was apparently upset because she didn't have any Fracción. When she tried to take it out on the supposedly 'weak janitor', he easily disarmed her while continuing to work on the floor.

Next thing he knew, he was dragged before Aizen as the female Arrancar declared him her Fracción.

It kind of put a crimp into his plan to be a spying janitor. But at least he would get a room **not** next to the Las Noches septic system.

But a few of the Espada laughed at her choice of the lowly janitor.

She offered to have them prove she made a weak choice by challenging him.

After a minute, Barragan was now three Fracción lighter. He'd even taken them out without lowering his hood or using a Resurrección they would have suspected he would use. Luckily, Zangetsu was in his Bankai form—no way was he going to fully seal his zanpakutō and use **that** release phrase again.

And thus, the natural Arrancar known as Shirosaki—once again, he was going to kill Urahara for using that name—was made a Fracción of Cirucci.

She had then dragged him to her personal chamber and spent half an hour trying to find out what he looked like under his cloak.

Then she spent half a day showing him that yes, something about him seemed to attract female Hollows like Saotome attracted mentally unbalanced women.

So, as he slowly made his way from her quarters, white outfit in tatters, mind somewhat offline do to finding out how … excitable the woman was in the bedroom, he began to question if the whole assignment was worth it.

"Did you really think I'd allow an insect like you to do what you did?"

Blinking, he spotted Barragan standing in front of him, the remaining Fracción by his side, glaring at Ichigo. "And Aizen will allow you to get payback like a spoiled child?" he growled back. Oh, he really needed to vent now, lest he go show Urahara what he was thinking of the plan.

"I am the God-King of Hueco Mundo does not care," spat the elderly Arrancar. "Kill him, or I shall kill you all and do it myself."

_Well, I wonder if those time-spells Ranma showed me will work…_

_Wait, is this another Fate of mine: sex followed quickly by death?_

_DAMN YOU, SAOMTOME!_

* * *

"My beloved Espada," started Aizen, a slight smile on his face. "I would like to introduce the newest member of our group, who recently slew Barragan and the remainder of his Fracción, and the first Vasto Lorde to join our esteemed group, Shirosaki."

Yep, if the look Cirucci was giving him were any indication—as well as the odd looks from Halibel and Neliel—this mission was about to become a total failure in less than a day.

_Asshole Arrancar aging my clothes to dust, aging my cloak to dust. And why the hell was I only found by female Arrancar? Damn it, Saotome dies next time I see him! This is all his fault!_

"Now, my newest Espada, please show us your Resurrección."

Oh, this day just kept getting better.


	3. Bleach Loops 3

**Bleach Loops 3**

Disclaimer: I don't own this series or any other series. I am just floating an idea. I am making no money, nor plan to, off this venture. If you think of suing me over this, then grow up.

I would like to first personally thank all of those reviewing my stories. I enjoy reading your comments, and try to correct the grammatical errors I miss with my final read-through as well as my spell checkers. The suggestions you all make will help make this story better for everyone to enjoy, as well as allow me to fix some plot holes I may unintentionally leave. If you find any, let me know, and I will correct them and repost the chapters.

* * *

This group is based on a Groundhog's Day concept, if time was looping, and certain members were aware of this.

These are their insanities.

* * *

**New Loop #1:**

Looking left, right, up, and down; the Looping Shinigami slowly exited the room within the Seireitei, quietly closing the door so as to make no sound or even a click should there be a lock to engage.

_Why is it whenever I try to reproduce whatever I see in a movie during a Loop, I always think it is a great idea beforehand, but it quickly slides into a Darwin Award move as I do it?_ he wondered, tip-toeing away from the room as quickly as he could without releasing any reishi.

_I blame Chizuru for this, she chose the movie we went to see._

That should have been his first clue about how bad of an idea this was. The class lesbian hadn't even tried to watch the movie. She had spent the time since the theater went dark trying to molest Orihime, which in turn made Tatsuki angry, who then proceeded to strike the Orihime-otaku, which resulted in both getting thrown out before the opening credits finished.

He wasn't going to leave. Leave? After what he paid for the tickets and snacks? Are you crazy?

Therefore, he stayed with the others who hadn't been forced to leave due to spilled drinks and catfights. He watched, he smirked, and he got an idea for something to do to alleviate the recent boredom he had been feeling in the Loops.

This was why he was sneaking around now. It was as Ranma had warned him: once you do something stupid as part of some plan, it will be as if Fate will force you to continue, as if you no longer have the power to walk away.

"Boy, is that the truth," he muttered, before a feminine figure stepped out in front of him.

Moreover, it was as Ranma said; he could not help himself.

"Oh, sorry," stated Isane Kotetsu demurely. "I didn't expect to find other divisions searching near the Fourth Division's barracks."

He could not help himself as he smiled, laying on one of several prepared discussions for when he met the fairer Shinigami.

At least he kept quiet the fact that he had just finished seducing the Lieutenant's sister only minutes earlier. It was amazing how many in the Shinigami ranks had fantasies about being seduced by a rogue who had snuck into their homes.

That more than anything else probably spoke volumes of the available men within the ranks.

Oh, he would pay if they ever compared notes. He could only hope what Naruto and Ranma had taught him in that Fused Loop would keep him safe from being 'unmanned'.

"I don't know," Isane said, blushing, fidgeting slightly, as she considered the ryoka's words. It **had** been a while since she had received such attention. The tale he spun was so wondrous. Seriously, how often was she likely to be kidnapped and interrogated by such a ryoka? Hell, what were the chances she'd run into such a soul and not have them try to kill her?

Steeling her resolve, she made up her mind.

* * *

_I'msodead I'msodead I'msodead I'msodead I'msodead,_ he internally ranted as he shut the door to Isane's apartment and made his way away from the location.

"I will never doubt Saotome ever again, if I survive this Loop until after the Arrancars," he sighed, making certain he was far enough away before he switched to shunpo. Yes, it was time to ditch the cursed plan and rescue Rukia finally. He'd rather not have the entire female Shinigami population—not counting the females he had seduced for information and favors outside of the Seireitei—appearing in the Living World to slaughter him.

Although considering he **had** seduced Nemu Kurotsuchi, he could count on the attempt being well thought out and heavily armed. Perhaps it was time to move in with the Vizard…

"Oh, hello."

Gulping, he found his face meeting the blue eyes of Retsu Unohana. _Oh well, at least I won't have to deal with the Bounts…_ "Hello, madam," he said, smiling, and giving a bow.

* * *

**New Loop #2:**

_Another scene of Emperor Kurosaki I…_

"I'll take this, Loly," sighed Ichigo, stopping his Arrancar fangirl from striking at Tatsuki on the front door stoop.

"As you command, my Lord," replied the Arrancar as she skipped back into the house.

"So … you're royalty now," grumbled the girl.

"Apparently," sighed Ichigo, just wanting this Loop to end.

"And now you've decided that a girl like Orihime is just to be your concubine," growled the angry teen.

Ichigo blinked at that. "Excuse me?"

"You heard me," Tatsuki replied, cracking her knuckles and preparing to release pure feminine fury upon him. "That skank said that Orihime was only worthy of being a lowly concubine."

"I fail to see how that implies it was my choice," grumbled Ichigo. "Just because they see me as a ruler doesn't mean they listen to me."

"Right," smirked Tatsuki.

"Teachers are in charge, do you listen to them when they tell you to stop smacking Chizuru around?"

She paused at that point. It was good logic.

"Besides, you know me, Tatsuki; would I ever do such a thing to Orihime?" he asked.

Her rage cooled as she considered his words. It was true; it seemed more like the crazy rants of those new girls than Ichigo. Moreover, if he had been swept up in the new life as royalty, would he still be living in his old home?

"Kurosaki-kun!"

A feeling of dread overcame Ichigo, a feeling he was all too familiar with thanks to the Loops. Despite the fact every fiber of his being was yelling at him—including his Hollow side—to close his eyes and retreat into the house, he turned his head.

"I am ready to be a concubine now, Kurosaki-kun!" cheered Orihime, dressed in the infamous slave outfit of Princess Leia. "Oh, here you are, Tatsuki-chan!" she said, holding out a bag towards the other teen. "I got you one as well. Now we can be concubines together with Kurosaki-kun!

"Or do I call Kurosaki-kun 'Master' now, I'm not quite sure. What does Kurosaki-kun prefer?"

**THUD!**

It is not what is inside the package, but how it is presented. And no man could handle the sight of Orihime in such an outfit.

"My Lord, I heard… What have you done to the Emperor?" shouted Loly, wondering why he never did that to her. Perhaps she would knock the busty fool out, steal her outfit, and prove to her Lord how a real woman would look in it.

* * *

**New Loop #3:**

_More from the adventures of Shirosaki…_

He couldn't wait anymore, he had to know. Just what had been happening in the World of the Living since he took this ill-conceived mission to discover all he could about what Aizen had done in Hueco Mundo? How was Urahara dealing with things? What had been done to cover his disappearance—he seriously doubted Kon had been left in charge of his body for that amount of time?

Luckily, he didn't need the special access points like the other Arrancar did. Nope, he had learned enough to open a Garganta himself without alerting anyone to said fact. Well, Szayel might, but that particular Hollow had been dealt with when he tried to assist Nnoitra with defeating Nelliel.

However, what he found when he arrived…

"You did what?" Ichigo/Shirosaki asked, glaring at the former Captain of the Twelfth Squad.

"Oh, it wasn't that difficult," replied Urahara, fanning himself. "And it preserved things here quite well."

"You fucking cloned me!" bellowed Ichigo.

"Well, not a complete clone," corrected Urahara. "He's what Saotome-san termed a 'Prime Loop variant with Level-0 memories."

"Huh?"

"Basically, he's you without the extra memories or abilities."

"… And you didn't see anything wrong with that?"

"Wrong?"

"As in people noticing that Substitute Shinigami Ichigo Kurosaki bears a strong resemblance to the Espada Shirosaki?"

"But we won't see the Espada for a few months."

"How about Aizen, Ichimaru, and Tōsen?"

"Did you just ask if a blind man would recognize how much you two look alike?"

"… You know what I mean!"

"Oh, it will work out fine, Ichigo," he said with a smile. "Now, I do believe you should be getting back. From your reports, you have a patrol to go out on to try and locate other Vasto Lorde with Hallibel and her Fracción. My, you do get around, Kurosaki-kun."

"… I so hate you right now."

"Remind me again of the Shikai release phrase for—my, he does open those Garganta quickly."

* * *

_You know, I know one thing and only one thing for certain now: I __**hate**__ deserts!_

Apache, Mila-Rose, and Sun-Sun appeared before the two Espada in a flash. "We checked the village," Apache stated. "No Vasto Lorde were there."

"I told you," smirked Shirosaki.

"Yes, you did," Hallibel stated in her usual emotionless voice. "But, we still must check."

"This would go so much easier if you would simply tell us where the others might be?" growled Mila-Rose.

"Oh yes, because we always hung out together like one big family," Shirosaki responded, voice dripping with sarcasm. "I just can't understand why they're not rushing out to support a Shinigami."

"That implies you know some of their motives," stated Sun-Sun.

He turned and moved towards their next destination, offering no comment. Truthfully, he didn't have a clue. Nevertheless, judging by the attitudes of the more powerful Hollows who became Arrancar, he did have a good guess. More souls inside them meant more fractions of their remaining hearts, which meant the Hollow in question stood a better chance of regaining some measure of humanity lost when one became a Hollow. Likely, they recognized the bullshit Aizen was spewing and decided to wait until he finished dealing with the upstarts, much like the former God-King of Las Noches.

_Great, now I'm taking out the trash on three worlds. What's next?_

"Stand guard," he heard his fellow female Espada command. "I wish to talk with Shirosaki."

_Oh no!_

"As you command, Hallibel-sama," they responded, disappearing in a flash to take up guarding positions on the two Espada, but far enough away not to hear anything.

_Wait; what am I worried about? I mean, her mask remnants cover her mouth and her chest. What could we possibly do? I mean, it's not like every female Hollow wants me._

**Zip!**

_… Damn you, Saotome! Damn you, Kisuke!_

* * *

**New Loop #4:**

"Just the one Loop?" asked Rukia nervously.

"As far as I know. Yep, he'll only be awake for the one Loop," nodded Ichigo, as they prepared to enter Hueco Mundo to rescue Orihime.

"So … we're screwed," sighed the female Shinigami.

"Nah, he said he won't fuck with us."

Rukia blinked at that. "And you have proof of this … how?"

"Just what I gave him to help him out."

"… What did you give him?"

* * *

_Hours later…_

"Hello my dear Espada," Aizen said sitting down in his chair sipping tea. "We are currently under attack. Tousen please?"

Tousen turned on the projector to...

"Star Wars?" asked Nnoitra.

"Oh dear, my mistake," said the smiling Shinigami Gin, as he touched a few more buttons.

"Alright!" yelled Grimmjow. "Porn!"

"… Huh?" asked Starrk, now wide-awake.

"Can we please get back to the invaders?" asked Szayel.

"… Gay!" called Yami.

"I am not gay. I simply prefer to do things in order of priority."

"So you'd rather deal with invaders than watch porn?" asked Gin.

"Yes."

"… Definitely gay," mumbled Tousen, cursing his blindness once again.

"Ooooo."

"Gin, stop corrupting Wonderweiss."

Turning towards his fellow blind former captain, Gin just smiled. "One can't remain pure forever. Should he not see this if we expect him to see the blood of our enemies?"

"Can we please deal with the invaders?" asked Harribel.

Nnoitra snorted. "Oh? Don't like a little porn?"

Gin just continued to smile. Sometimes, the little things created the most havoc.

* * *

**New Loop #5:**

Shirosaki/Ichigo sighed as he watched Aizen use the Hōgyoku once more to create a new Arrancar. Not that said process was boring. According to Ranma, experiencing it through a multitude of senses gave one a great insight into said magic ball.

Personally, Ichigo hated it. Some Loops he had ended by killing Aizen in Soul Society after it had been removed from Rukia usually was proceeded by said Orb trying to implant itself into Ichigo by any and all means necessary. The next time Saotome was around, he resolved to ask said Anchor to pick the thing apart and figure out why it followed Ichigo like a lost puppy/stalker.

"Now, arise my newest Arrancar," stated Aizen in his usual light voice. "Tell us your name."

Said figure slowly stood up. The first thing Shirosaki noticed was the exceptionally large chin on said male, thus destroying any hope for the Vasto Lorde Espada to have someone take off the stress of being the female Arrancar's main sexual relief.

The second thing that struck him was that said figure obviously was not from this universe, which meant …

"Glenn Quagmire! OH!"

Yep, this Loop was really going to suck.

"Giggity! Woah, what a sausage-fest. Where are all the hot arrancars at?"

Suck and be very messy…

* * *

"Here's to the Las Noches, where they don't ask for proof of age and neither do I!"

"Leave us alone!" stated the Fracción Sun-Sun.

"So you chicks ever been penetrated?"

And thus Harribel's Fracción began their bloodiest battle.

* * *

Cirucci Thunderwitch cried aloud. "But you said we were going to get married!"

"Heh," said Glenn, " I only said that so you would Gigoogity my Gishmoigen!"

* * *

Ichigo/Shirosaki slowly made his way through Las Noches. Yes, this Loop utterly sucked. He wondered if any of the First Ones ever went through this.

"Hey, hey, wait a minute, wait, WHOA! What the hell? You're not the same giraffe-type Arrancar from last night!"

Yes, he hated this Loop with the utmost mental abilities…

* * *

**New Loop #6:**

Ichigo could only look down in shock. There was no other way to describe the neigh-impossible event that had just occurred to him.

Once again, the Loop restarted, he found himself human. That meant he would need to take some steps towards obtaining his Shinigami powers, usually via Kon or visiting Urahara. It wasn't as if he needed to borrow Rukia's powers anymore.

Sadly, it didn't look like that would be an option for this Loop.

As the shock began to give way, he recalled a warning from Ranma about what occurred after your first Fused Loop. He stated that when you began your regular Loop after that, the starting point was no longer a constant, that he was no longer guaranteed to 'awaken' in the same spot at always the same time.

Ichigo understood that now, since his disorientation from starting over allowed Fishbone D to get a good shot in, knocking his soul out from his body and severing his Chain of Fate.

_Somehow, I really don't think one link will last all that long._

He turned out to be right as he saw a mouth form on it.

"Well, this will be interesting," he grumbled as pain blossomed in his mind.

**"Fuck you, Zangetsu! I get to go first!"**

Somehow, he knew this Loop just might suck.

* * *

Rukia hissed as she felt conscious thought return. She hurt all over, and if asked, she would swear even her hair hurt.

However, she did know it would lessen soon. She could already feel the night air on her upper body—which made her hope that whoever was giving her medical treatment had taken at least the basic precaution to ensure she wasn't flashing every soul within sight—and the application of gauze. "Thank you," she hissed as it was wrapped around her upper chest.

The figure didn't answer, not that it surprised her, only a few of the Fourth Division were known as chatterboxes.

Her eyesight started to return as she felt the figure lift her up, setting her back against the ruined shop, as it lumbered around. It finally came into focus … allowing her to see a white lizard-like Hollow tuck a human girl into a small futon. "What the—"

**"Quiet,"** hissed the Hollow. **"She's trying to sleep!**

Rukia blinked, looking for her zanpakutō, hoping that even in her injured state, she could defeat the beast before her.

**"Your legs."**

"Huh?"

**"I had to use your zanpakutō to set your right leg. The big moron broke it."**

Looking down, she confirmed that he had used her sheathed zanpakutō to set her right leg … with the guard by her toes. "Shit."

Then her eyes went wide. "You did this."

**"Yes,"** it nodded.

"Then you saw me topless," she growled.

**"So?"**

"A pervert!" she cried out. "You had your way with me!"

**"I fixed you up!"** he yelled back. **"Besides, I've seen way better than you."**

"What's that supposed to mean?" growled out Rukia.

The lizard Hollow started rubbing the top of his mask. **"The Hollow I defeated had a bigger rack than you."**

That was obviously the wrong thing to say as her body began to glow with spiritual power.

"Bad big brother," murmured Yuzu as she snuggled into her blanket.

* * *

"Well now, isn't this interesting," muttered Urahara, face hidden behind his fan, as he stared at the injured Shinigami and the lizard-like Hollow.

Ichigo hissed, closing his eyes, and wishing his damned mask wasn't keeping him from rubbing his temples. Kisuke was always annoying, more so now.

"And you came here why?" asked the former Captain.

One of Ichigo's glowing eyes appeared to be twitching behind his mask. **"Oh yeah, because a Hollow with as much power as me running around would never attract any sort of attention,"** he spat.

"Can we just kick its ass?" asked Jinta.

The Hollow could feel that headache returning. **"Just tell me how to get back into my body so I can just forget this day ever happened," **sighed Ichigo.

"I wish I could help you, but … I can't."

Palming his mask, he fought the urge to kick the man's ass. **"You're shitting me."**

"Oh, you shouldn't say such naughty words," stated Ururu quietly.

**"You're allowed to when an inexperienced newb got you turned into a Hollow,"** replied Ichigo.

"Hey!" yelled Rukia as Tessai worked on her broken leg. "This wasn't my fault!"

"I must say you are taking this quite well, better than I expected any soul in your condition to," commented Kisuke.  
**  
"You know who my father is?"**

"Yes."

**"I rest my case,"** stated Ichigo with finality as he tried to grasp a cup of tea, a difficult chore with his talon-like fingers. _I'm going to need a straw._** "Are you at least taking care of my body, and by 'taking care' I mean not dissecting it, burying it, cremating it, but keeping it alive?"  
**  
"Yes, we are," replied Kisuke.

"This is against the rules," muttered Rukia.

**"I'm sure being a peeping Shinigami is against the rules too,"** replied Ichigo.

"I was not peeping!"

**"You came into my room without permission!"** Ichigo growled back.

"But I didn't see anything!"

**"Ha! So you were looking!"**

As much as he enjoyed the byplay, Kisuke stood up. "I do have a device that may help you."

Ichigo could have sworn he could hear his Hollow-side laughing its ass off. _Oh no, I couldn't have it easy. I get the one damned Loop Urahara isn't 'awake' to be turned into a Hollow._

_**"I'm not feeling the love, King."**_

_Oh, shut up. Bad enough I have this shit and I now have to deal with that evil Orb, I don't need you running at the mouth._

_**"Would it help if I talked about rain and clouds?"**_ asked the Inner Hollow.

**"I need a nap or a bottle of alcohol,"** he finally muttered, palming his face. **"Preferably both and in large quantities."  
**  
"Oh, I'm sure it won't be that bad, Kurosaki," replied Kisuke with a smile. "This way please. And hopefully within the hour, we'll have you able to be put back in your body. After all, what could go wrong?"

Wincing, Ichigo turned towards Ururu. **"Promise me that since he doomed me by saying the forbidden phrase, when it does turn horribly, horribly wrong, you'll hit him as hard as you can."**

* * *

**New Loop #7:**

Ichigo could only blink as he awoke, finding himself starting the Loop on his way to school. Usually he woke up in his bed, maybe eating breakfast—a scene that usually ended with him understanding why Ranma hated pandas and Stop Signs for the longest time.

"Oh well, not like the last Loop was a cluster-fuck," he smirked. He had finally gotten Ranma to teach him the beginnings of what was known as 'The Omega Massage'. The dreaded massage could melt the darkest demoness into a submissive puppy. The man had even tried it once on Chizuru on a dare.

No matter where Ranma was in any universe, if Chizuru was there, she found him like Usagi could find an all-you-can-eat buffet.

Now … Ichigo knew the beginning steps for it. Not that Ranma would teach him the full thing. According to him, the Omega was different for every person, and as such, each person had to make it their own. Thankfully for him, Orihime had been more than willing to be his 'test subject'.

It wasn't as if she didn't already fawn over him already. Therefore, he didn't have to worry about her undergoing a massive personality shift. Moreover, he did try it on Chizuru too—which had cost him the trouble of convincing Orihime to go with her to a movie.

Besides, his would never be as good as Ranma's, so it wasn't as if she'd start fawning over him as well.

What was the worst that could happen? It wasn't as if he was about to use it on female Arrancar.

* * *

Entering the classroom—his memories told him it was now the second day of school, his first having involved kicking the asses of some old thorns in his side—he saw what he expected.

Chad was in his seat.

Uryū was reading a book, showing no sign that he felt Ichigo was a Shinigami—but probably aware that said man was leaking reishi like a fountain. Who knew how long that would last.

"Kurosaki-kun!"

Blinking, he turned to find Orihime quickly approaching him, Tatsuki in her wake. "Um, yeah?" he asked, wondering if his massage had been good enough to affect her.

His tension slowly lowered as she blushed before him, barely a foot away. Yep, she was quite normal.

"Eep!" he heard two people say, taking a moment to realize it hadn't just been Orihime, but him as well, as he felt a female hand wrap around his hips and grab his crotch.

"Mmmm," purred Chizuru from between them, her left hand groping Orihime as her right hand was groping him. "Just the way I like it, my Princess and my Prince!"

Even Tatsuki paused in her usual rebuff of the glasses-wearing student's advances on Orihime, unsure how to take it.

"See, see Mizuiro!" yelled Keigo. "Ichigo really is dangerous! Look what he did to Chizuru!"

"You say something?" asked Mizuiro, looking up from his cram-school booklet.

Slowly, Tatsuki's eyes focused on him. "Is this somehow your doing, Ichigo?" she growled out.

"I'm so happy!" cried Chizuru, tightening her hold.

Ichigo winced as his 'boys' felt the increasing pressure. _Spoke too soon. This Loop is going to suck. I should have listened to Ranma._

_Oh look, everyone is staring now. Moreover, Rukia arrives tonight._

_Well, this is just fucking great. The only thing missing is—_

**Ziiiip!**

_Now I'm in hell._

* * *

**New Loop #8:**

"To protect the world from devastation!"

"To unite all people within our nations!"

"To denounce the evil of truth and love!"

"To extend our reach to the stars above!"

"Jesse!"

"James!"

"Team Rocket blast in of at the speed of light!"

"Surrender now or prepare to fight!"

"Meowth, that's right!"

Ichigo just twitched, removing the odd hat he found he could never lose from his head, reached behind him, and grabbed…

"Getsuga Tenshō!"

**BOOOM!**

"WAH!" cried the trio as they were blasted into the air. "Looks like Team Rocket is blasting off again!"

"Wow," murmured Orihime, one of the Gym Leaders of Cerulean City. "They must have made Ichigo really mad."

Chad, the Gym Leader of Pewter City, just grunted in approval.

"Chu, pika? Pika!" cried Pikachu. Translated, it became, "Where is Nee-sama? Nee-sama!"

Placing Zangetsu back in its harness, Ichigo sighed. Man, he hated this Loop. It was starting to get up there with Eiken.

* * *

**New Loop #9:**

Wincing as he sat down—perhaps he should have used his Mask during that last training session—Ichigo looked at his list of chores for this Loop.

Save Mom? Check! He had arrived early enough and snuck into Urahara's Shop while he was ouch, stealing a very annoying Mod Soul named Kon and that flaming skull glove.

Odd, he couldn't remember the name for it. "Did it ever have a name?" he asked himself, before shrugging.

Point was Grand Fisher met the youngest Vizard in history, his mother was alive, and then sold him out to his father, thus earning him a trip back to Kisuke's. Still, having his mother back was definitely worth the three months grounding and being forced to work at Urahara's.

Saved Orihime's brother, Sora? Check! It wasn't that hard to pull someone back from being hit by a drunk driver.

However, without the body of someone striking their vehicle, the drunk hadn't slowed down for another half-block, plowing into a delivery van, killing the driver instantly. However, considering the person was on his way to work as a doctor at nine in the morning, Ichigo couldn't really drum up much sympathy for him.

Create an army to deal with Aizen?

"Ow," he winced, feeling a twinge in his shoulders as Orihime continued to heal him, and her powers awaked a full half year before they normally did.

Check.

In thanks, Sora had joined them, becoming a very powerful Shinigami—probably his version of power that manifested in Orihime. Though he still didn't know the name of his zanpakutō, he was close to it, if Zangetsu was right.

Orihime and Chad were powered up, working towards mastering their powers sooner, but it would still be a while before Chas used "La Muerte" or Orihime started taking headshots.

Hell, since Tatsuki was the protector of Orihime still, she too joined the group. And like Sora, was now a Shinigami as well.

_Wait, it feels like I am forgetting something._

"Kurosaki-kun?"

"Yeah, Orihime?"

"Is the concussion gone?"

He blinked at that. Why had he had a concussion?

**"ROOOAAAAARRRRRR!"**

"Oh yeah," he muttered, spotting Chad and the recently recruited Uryū trying to hold back the demi-Hollowed forms of Tatsuki and Sora—who like before was developing the Acidwire mask. "Orihime?"

"Yes, Kurosaki-kun?"

"Remind me to kick Urahara's ass for leaving that orb out where those two found it," he said tiredly, summoning his own Vizard mask.

_**"Come on, King. Aren't we all one big family?"**_ he heard his Inner Hollow tease.

Sighing, Ichigo charged into the fray to keep the two busy as they tried to subdue their Inner Hollows. _Ranma was right, sometimes it really isn't worth it to get out of bed some Loops._

* * *

**New Loop #10:**

As the world returned to him as the Loop reset—something he was thankful for because he never wanted to face that cross-dressing Fracción ever again—Ichigo found himself once again somewhere he wished he wasn't.

"Give up!" smirked Renji, as he forced the upstart back, feeling somewhat validated for proving superior to the human soul who stole Rukia's powers and caused her to get into so much trouble.

Sighing, Ichigo looked at his friend with sad eyes. "I'm going to have to really hurt you now?"

"Really?" asked Renji. "And how do you plan to do that?"

"It isn't a plan, it is a certainty," stated Ichigo sadly. "I have to hurt you, Byakuya, and everyone here because they are about to hear one thing."

"Which is?" asked Renji.

Cringing, Ichigo forced himself to continue. No matter how many times, no matter if done in private or public, it never got any easier. But in private, he could keep his respect.

Not now, though, now it had to go. "Chase away the rain, Zangetsu," he spoke, as the form of his zanpakutō changed from an oversized katana to an oversized elegant cleaver.

Renji leapt back in shock. The soul already achieved Shikai? "Howl, Zabimaru!" he called out, using his own.

Ichigo didn't press the advantage, sighing heavily. Saying that phrase always made him feel so depressed. Honestly, couldn't Zangetsu have chosen a cooler activation phrase than that? Was rain so damned important to the zanpakutō spirit.

**"Yes, Ichigo; it is."**

Twitching, he trudged forward, resigned to saving Rukia, if only to figure out how to ensure she never repeated that phrase beyond this place.

* * *

**New Loop #11:**

Ichigo hated Loops like this. Granted, he didn't have even a tenth of the experience in them that those like Ranma, Naruto, Lina, or even Harry had. However, he liked to think some of their horror stories had been overly exaggerated to make them look better.

Staring at the people before him in this Loop, he decided that no, they were not.

"Any questions about your assignment, Ichigo?"

Pinching the bridge of his nose, he took a steadying breath, before facing the being before him. "So you plan to send an untrained rookie after three items stolen from here, by three powerful demons, just to save your own ass, instead of … I don't know, sending the best of the best?" he asked.

Koenma growled. "Do you know what those items can do?" he yelled out.

Ichigo snorted. "Duh, I heard you the first time," he muttered, picking at his ear to see if he could restore his hearing. "Doesn't change the fact you've basically given crappy James Bond knock-off equipment, no weapons, or even backup to face these guys."

"I'll help!" offered Botan.

Somehow, that didn't fill him with confidence, somewhat like Orihime offering to make him dinner for thanks.

* * *

"You're barely a morsel," smirked Goki, the Orb of Baast in his hand.

Ichigo had a simple choice: use the items provided in this world to deal with him or…

"BANKAI!"

On the other hand, he could just solve it the old-fashioned way: wail on it until it dies.

* * *

**New Loop #12:**

He had faced things from space and time, Aizen and beyond, nailed women from across the planes and galaxy, and faced the greatest evils the multiverse had to toss at him.

He'd even managed not to go insane watching a parallel female version of himself flirting with guys … barely.

However, that all paled to the sight before him.

"Looping, huh?" asked Rukia, standing before him on top of the school roof, tapping her foot.

"Hey, I told you everything that I know on the subject," he said, only barely maintaining bladder control because Rukia only seemed to remember the initial timeline—a command put into all Yggdrasil systems for those newly 'awake'—which meant she had yet to recall … other things.

"It sounds … impossible," she muttered. "But yet … I recall it all, not even like it was a dream."

"Yeah, it takes a while to get used to," he replied, scratching his head. "Luckily, we got it better than some of the original Loopers."

"Original?"

Sighing, he leaned back against the railing—as always, prepared to make a run for it if Rukia showed any sign of remembering things he would never admit to—and filled her in.

* * *

"Wow," she muttered, looking at her hand, wondering if the Hōgyoku had already been placed within her soul, as Ichigo finished the tale of some of his Loops.

"You don't have that damned magic ball chasing you around," he snorted in reply. Like that orb was so damned important… Eventually, it would sneak out of Rukia's soul and hunt him down as Tatsuki hunted down Chizuru.

"Oh, it couldn't be that bad," waved off Rukia.

His fear was now forgotten, slowly being replaced by a billowing rage. "That … **THING** … is a menace! Every damned Loop it chases me, tries to burry itself in me! I've dealt with female Hollows with less drive to screw me over than that thing!"

"Well, it isn't like it'll chase you now," she said calmly, as if he was making it up.

Ichigo winced, before palming his face as he heard her stomach growl. "You just had to tempt Fate, didn't you? You couldn't have accepted everything I said as the honest truth; no, you had to think I was making half this shit up."

"So you really have mastered your powers?"

"Yes."

"You really are constantly pursued by female Arrancar and the Hōgyoku?"

"Yes!"

"And you really—"

"Of for the love of the Kami, YES!" he screamed. "I didn't make a damned thing up!"

"But … but that is impossible!"

"Well guess what, the Loops rejected your idea of reality and substituted their own," he spat, turned around, and headed back to class. Sure, he'd eventually have to deal with the rumor mill since Rukia and he had been skipping now two classes that day. Nevertheless, it had to be better than teaching Looping 101.

_Man, how the hell do they keep sane explaining this stuff?_ he muttered, walking down the stairs. Right now, he was so tempted to just forget the rest of the day and head home, take several aspirins, a relaxing soak, and a long nap.

"Crap, I gotta pick up Kon today," he muttered, wishing he would remember to just toss the Mod-Soul into his subspace pocket. However, it was either Kon or the Substitute Shinigami badge until Ichigo could expand the pocket, and the badge was a hell of a lot less annoying.

* * *

"Hey, Old Man," called out Ichigo, entering the Urahara Shop, hoping to find Kon quickly. Somehow, the Old Man was also 'awake', though hell if Ichigo knew how the man had pulled it off.

"Hello, sir," said Ururu in her normal timid voice. "How can I help you?"

"Well, you probably have to get the okay from Urahara, but I need to pick up a particular Mod-Soul," Ichigo replied with a smile. He knew from past—and often painful—experience what would happen if he didn't ask for Kon just right.

"Very well," she replied quietly. "I'll go get—"

"It's going this way!" came a familiar yell from deep within the shop.

He had no time to react, to feel fear, or even shut his mouth as something blasted straight through several doors and slammed into his mouth, trying to burrow its way down his throat.

"In here!" yelled Rukia, as she tore open the do, spotting a gagging Ichigo. "I … wow, it really did go right to him."

"I told you," replied Kisuke, as he continued to fan himself. "You okay there, Ichigo?"

"Hate … you … all," he managed to rasp out before the lack of air took him from the waking world.


	4. Bleach Loops 4

**Bleach Loops 4**

Disclaimer: I don't own this series or any other series. I am just floating an idea. I am making no money, nor plan to, off this venture. If you think of suing me over this, then grow up.

I would like to first personally thank all of those reviewing my stories. I enjoy reading your comments, and try to correct the grammatical errors I miss with my final read-through as well as my spell checkers. The suggestions you all make will help make this story better for everyone to enjoy, as well as allow me to fix some plot holes I may unintentionally leave. If you find any, let me know, and I will correct them and repost the chapters.

* * *

This group is based on a Groundhog's Day concept, if time was looping, and certain members were aware of this.

These are their insanities.

* * *

**New Loop #1:**

_Based on the picture created by Aduah_

"Ichigo!" Orihime cried, racing towards the battle to save the man she cared for, hoping to save him from the tanned Arrancar who was about to slaughter him.

However, the one-armed Arrancar saw her and swung his hand around to strike her, the speed too great for her to avoid.

**WHAM!**

Her eyes open, she spotted her savior, a man wearing a brown cloak, carrying a long katana that had a chain attached to the hilt, one that seemed to wrap around him. His hood, giving her no clues as to what he looked like underneath it, despite being so close, obscured his face as always.

One arm stopped her forward advance, the other holding the katana as tall as he was, blocking the Arrancar's strike.

"You know," the mysterious man said, "striking her doesn't seem right. I had no idea Arrancar were so weak, they could only hit the defenseless."

"Who are you?" growled Yammy Riyalgo.

"Me? I'm just a guy hanging around," said the figure condescendingly. Before Yammy could react, the figure executed a vicious spin kick, sending the Arrancar across the field and into the ground.

Sighing, he turned, looking down on the bloody form of Ichigo. "I warned you, did I not?" he stated. "I told you before this, before the Bount, that you should seek out the Vizard, seek out their teachings to control your inner Hollow.

"And yet here you lay, cowering, broken, because you ignored my advice. Because when they approached you, you shunned them.

"Don't know why, don't care, even if I already know. Pride? Arrogance? Over-confidence in your own strength?

"Doesn't matter," the figure said, picking up the busted Shinigami and tossing him close to Chad. "In the end, it cost you so much, nearly cost this lovely medic her health, trying to save you. I hope it was worth it."

"Ulquiorra!" yelled the Arrancar, standing once again. "I don't care what you say, I'm killing this one!"

The pale Arrancar sighed. "You never listen when you get like this." Glancing across the field, he looked at the cloaked figure. "Who are you?"

"Me?" asked the figure. "I'm an advisor of sorts, making sure this team doesn't get themselves killed.

"But for you to report to Aizen," the figure said, waving a hand before his face and lowering his hood, revealing long orange hair and a mask with four spike-shaped marks stretch, two of them stopping by the forehead, and the other two stretching past the eyes and teeth, **"I'm the guy who is about to kill his Number 0 Arrancar."**

"Like Hell!" yelled Yammy, charging at the man.

The figure sighed heavily. **"You really aren't that smart,"** he said, grabbing the hilt of his sword and swinging vertically.

**"If you were, you would have used your Resurrección before trying to face me."**

Yammy cried out as blood surged from a vertical wound ... before his body collapsed into two halves.

Sighing, Ulquiorra opened a Garganta.

"Hey!" the figure cried out, his hood covering his face again and the echo effect of his mask gone. "Make sure Aizen knows that his conscripted soldiers, his own zanpakutō, they will not allow him to win should he force my hand.

"I am quite happy with letting this group try and stop him. However, if he pushes … I shall push back.

"Besides, you should be happy, you just moved up to Number Three," the figure said jovially, as Ulquiorra stepped into the void and vanished.

"Um, excuse me?"

Turning the figure spotted Orihime, the glow of her powers surrounding Ichigo, Chad, and even Tatsuki. "Yes?"

"Who … who are you? Why did you help us? Why won't you fully join us?"

Smiling, the figure backed up slightly, opening his own Garganta. "I'm just an advisor, trying to show you all the paths needed for victory with the least amount of bloodshed.

"Kisuke, I figure you might like Yammy's corpse," he stated, looking towards some bushes. "Until later," he said kindly, as the portal closed, leaving the defenders of the Human World alone.

* * *

The figure sighed as he exited in a desert region far from Las Noches, and lowered his hood, revealing a blue eye surrounded by white and a yellow eye surrounded by black. "Ranma was right, dealing with a Prime Loop variant is a pain in the ass," Ichigo said, stretching slightly. "Man, can't believe I was ever that dense."

* * *

**New Loop #2:**

Ichigo tried to reign in his joy at being in a Loop not his own. From the window nearby, he could see a sun, hundreds of stars, a nearby nebula, and what he guessed were spaceships—which was odd because he swore at least two looked like they were made of wood.

Shaking his head, he continued walking as the memories of the new him filled his mind.

He was a Captain in something called Galaxy Police. Well, at least he wasn't living at home.

He was now on his way to see the Grand Marshall, Minami Kuramitsu, about a brand new assignment, having just succeeded in busting a major pirate syndicate, so it had to be for the best.

His smile immediately fell as he recalled a good luck charm his grandmother had given him, a charm attached to a chain that he had always worn.

Gulping, he pulled it from his inner shirt and looked at it.

"Shit, you **are** stalking me, aren't you?" he growled.

It looked exactly like the Hōgyoku, complete with sparkling effect. If he hadn't believed the stories from the eldest Loopers, he would normally doubt that such an object would be essentially stalking him.

Of course, he spoke to a spirit that lived in his soul, manifested as a sword, dealt with people who in reality were simply small pills, so it was very possible, even for him. Hell, even Kisuke didn't know what it was—or why whenever it was within a block of Ichigo, it homed in on him like a missile.

It just did.

**"Thank you for disposing of your waste in the proper bin,"** came the computer's voice as Ichigo immediately sent it to the trash, hoping space-walls—or whatever the hell the station was made of—would keep it from trying to imbed itself into his chest again.

"Not like all my luck in this life was because of that thing," he muttered, continuing.

* * *

"Captain Ichigo Kurosaki, reporting as ordered!" he said, saluting.

Grand Marshall Minami Kuramitsu smiled at the man before him. "At ease," he spoke, watching as Ichigo switched positions to reflect a more relaxed state. "I wanted first to congratulate you on that last mission. Over four hundred pirates arrested, a network dismantled, and three sectors of space are breathing a sigh of relief because of you. Hell, at least a fourth of the stolen goods were recovered before they could be sold on the black market. I and they both thank you for a job well done."

"Thank you, sir," Ichigo replied with a smile. Too bad the 'responsible people' in his home universe could never be bothered to say thanks. His friends could say it, Arrancar could say it, but trying to get the Gotei 13 to say thanks was like trying to get a logical decision out of Central 46.

"That said, I was hoping to ask a favor of you."

"Oh?" Ichigo asked, trying to ignore the cold feeling currently going down his spine.

"We have an officer whose work has been … well, slipping from the usual high level it started out at," the Grand Marshall said sadly.

Oddly, this didn't reduce the chill going down Ichigo's spine.

"I was hoping that I could get you to partner up with them, see if you can discover the reason, or even resolve it."

"I—"

"I would consider this … a **personal favor**," he added.

The chill doubled as Ichigo considered this. A personal favor from the Grand Marshall was a definite bonus. It could lead to quicker promotions, more high-profile cases—not to mention family connections.

One never knew when you might need a massive power of 'help' to escape a jam or support your hunches.

However, the way the man had phrased it also denoted that 'no' was not an answer he would accept, nor one Ichigo could give … not unless he wanted his career path to take him towards babysitting elites who had their own gravitational pulls either from weight or mass of ego. "I … can give it a try, sir."

"Excellent!" Minami yelled, slapping the desk as he stood up. "I have complete faith in you, son! If anyone can help return her to her top form, it's you!"

"Her?" he asked.

His answer came as the door opened to the office once more, allowing another officer to enter. She was related to the Grand Marshall—which only served to further drive the chill to absolute zero—given her appearance, was about as 'healthy' as Orihime, and for some odd reason, totally engrossed in her Control Cube. It was however enough to click into his mind about a story Ranma told him, about a universe that held 11-D Goddesses … and their offspring.

"Now was it this way? No, wait, it was right three turns…"

"Mihoshi?"

"Yes, Grandpa?" she asked, looking at him.

"Work name, dear," he said.

"Huh?" she blinked, looking around, and apparently only now taking notice that she was at headquarters and both were in uniform. "Oh, right!

"First Class Detective Mihoshi Kuramitsu, reporting as ordered, sir!"

Ichigo could only stare, frozen as stone, and trying to figure out why this was happening to him.

* * *

**"We have not yet located the object, sir,** replied one drone, as they continued to search the waste pile that had not yet been recycled.

"Keep looking," he said sourly, rubbing his temples. _Why is it when I finally need the damn thing, I can't find it, and it won't come to me?_ If he was going to survive with his sanity intact, being Mihoshi's partner, he needed every advantage he could get.

_This isn't fair! I didn't do anything wrong last Loop! Why did I end up here?_

* * *

**New Loop #3:**

Ichigo winced as the sound of books hit the table. Judging by the force, it couldn't have been good.

"This school … sucks," growled Rukia.

"It isn't that bad," muttered Ichigo, studying the book before him. Magic school wasn't that bad. Granted, it could be better, and certainly not Hogwarts, but it did have its charm.

"OH HOHOHOHOHO!"

Well, it **had** its charm.

"Damn it, Naga! Leave me alone!"

"What is that about?" asked Rukia, taking a seat beside Ichigo, trying not to internally seethe about the 'bountiful' student coming their way or how she 'displayed' her bounty.

"Lina's an original Anchor," replied Ichigo. "Basically an Anchor since whatever happened, happened. And for a long time, no one else 'awoke' in her reality." He felt it wasn't pertinent to mention how that might have turned the redhead sorcerer into a Ranma-maniac. "Anyway, they found out it was the Lord of Nightmares holding it back."

"Who?"

"Person running this reality," he offered. "And that woman, Naga, is the first person to come to after Lina."

"So, they're friends?"

"Depends on the amount of food and liquor available," commented Ichigo, as the new duo came by to sit at their table.

"Why do you wear that?" Rukia asked Naga. Granted, she didn't think she could pull it off, but it was nice to know they didn't have to wear a solitary style, like Shinigami.

That and she really hoped to convince the White Serpent to wear something a bit more … concealing. Even Lt. Matsumoto didn't wear stuff **that** revealing.

"What is wrong with my outfit?" asked Naga.

"The fact you call yourself the White Serpent and the outfit is all black," offered Ichigo.

"The fact that your cape has three times the cloth as it," stated Lina.

Eye twitching, Naga turned back towards Rukia. "I like my outfit the way it is. It is hardly my fault that some people cannot pull it off."

Rukia twitched, clenching her fist.

Lina snorted. "Last I recall, pulling it off wasn't the issue."

"Oh, one time…"

"I'm recalling when Ranma was last here."

"Oh… Well yes, that was the exception that makes the rule."

"Anyway," waved off Lina, "we had a question about a recent image we received from Seyruun."

"Oh?" asked Ichigo, as Lina handed him a scroll.

Unraveling it, he found it to be a garden portrait, two well-dressed females in it. One bore a striking resembles to Naga.

"The other…

"I-Inoue!" squeaked Rukia.

"So, she's one of yours?" The duo nodded.

"Great, she's now listed as Amelia's cousin, and according to Naga's sources, just as obsessed about justice as her."

"And that's … bad?" asked Rukia.

BAM!

The group turned as Ichigo slammed his book shut, stood up and began to gather his things.

"And where do you think you're going?" asked Rukia. "We need to make contact with Inoue!"

"Research," Ichigo replied. He knew what was going to happen. Magic Girl Orihime never ended well.

Magic Girl Princess Orihime could only end in intense pain. _So much for the quiet,_ he thought.

* * *

**New Loop #4:**

Ichigo glared at the tanned beauty before him, sitting on the rocks surrounding the healing pool within the secret training grounds under Sōkyoku Hill. He remembered this scene all too well, so he decided to get back at her the one way she never expected.

"You should have that mole looked at."

Yoruichi blinked. "Excuse me?"

"That mole on your inner right thigh," he restated. "You should have that looked at."

She blinked again.

"What? Do souls not have skin cancer to worry about?"

"… Let me get this straight," growled Yoruichi. "I just transformed from a cat with a baritone voice, into a hottie, completely nude, basically flashing all she's got up front, and the only thing you can think of is to point out a mole."

"… You were expecting something else?" he asked, shrugging.

"How about a reaction to having a naked lady before you?"

"Meh."

"Meh!?" she yelled.

Ichigo shrugged. "Hey, I've seen better." _Oh, she won't like that,_ he thought, succeeding in fighting off a smirk. She was always fun to rile up. And depending on how and when he did it, Yoruichi could become the ultimate X-factor.

"And just where have you seen better?" she asked with a devilish smirk. "Orihime perhaps?"

Ichigo snorted. "Please, she's a dear friend and I would never risk our friendship just to peep on her."

_… He's either dense as Sekkiseki or gay._ "What, don't like women?"

"I like them just fine," reported Ichigo. "I would just like to think they are more than some outer wrappings."

"Well then, where have you seen better?"

"Internet."

"… What?"

"It's true," replied Ichigo. "Thanks to Internet Porn, I'm pretty desensitized to the nude female form, pretty much anything sexual. As such, I have moved beyond mere hormones and can appreciate them for who they are and what is on the inside."

"… You're shitting me."

"Nope," replied Ichigo. "What? Did you expect me to develop a massive nosebleed? Freak out that I can see how well you shave? Sputter uncontrollably about the fact a naked woman is sitting before me?

"Sorry, I would like to think I'm better than that." With that, he closed his eyes and leaned back into the water, enjoying the heat and healing properties.

Yoruichi could only blink, unsure what she should do now. "Really?"

"Really," stated Ichigo. "Now, you should finish bathing and relaxing. We do have a rough day of training tomorrow."

Her eyes narrowed, trying to detect some sign that perhaps Kisuke had forewarned him.

But nothing. He had seen her beautiful form … and felt … nothing.

And she could tell, the water was pretty clear.

_This isn't over, Ichigo. I'll get the reaction I want somehow…_

Ichigo gave a contented sigh. _Well, this should give me a few weeks worth of entertainment._

* * *

**New Loop #5:**

"Wow, that late," Ichigo mumbled, looking at the calendar.

He wasn't used to waking up this late within the Loop. Usually it was around the time Rukia showed up, give or take a week. Rarely, he'd awaken early enough to save his mother.

However, never had he awoken so late in a Loop. It felt … disconcerting.

**"Beware, Ichigo,"** Zangetsu said, forming to his side. **"We cannot be certain this timeline shares the history we expect it to."**

"Yeah," he replied, hearing the doorbell ring.

Making his way downstairs as he heard his sister, Yuzu, call out she was getting it. _Let's see… If I remember correctly, this is when I usually meet Rurichiyo Kasumiōji and her retainers…_ That did bring a smile to his face—not for the little girl, but for the chance to battle the Bakkōtō again. It was usually a short fight—unless the damned things decided to pull an Hōgyoku and chase him—damned parasites going after the largest food source. Nevertheless, it was surprising at times, what their wielders would pull off to try to defeat him.

"Um … Daddy!" called Yuzu.

Blinking his eyes to shake himself out of his thoughts of future fights, Ichigo quickened his pace downstairs, rounding the corner the same time as Karin entered the hallway. The duo then approached the front door, where Ichigo saw the familiar gigai of Rurichiyo Kasumiōji and her two retainers, Ryūsei "Kenryū" Kenzaki and the silent Rusaburō "Enryū" Enkōgawa.

"Yuzu, what's going on?" Karin asked with suspicion.

"Forgive us for coming unannounced," said Kenryū, as he and Enryū bowed deeply. "But we have come on a most urgent matter."

Ichigo blinked. They were asking for help? This early?

**"Careful, Ichigo. I sense other factors at work here,"** Zangetsu said in his mind.

**"No shit, Captain Obvious!"** came the reply from Ichigo's Hollow-side. **"Here's more breaking news: Rukia barely qualifies for a training bra and Chizuru wants Orihime!"**

"We have come to see Lord Kurosaki," stated Rurichiyo in her usual tone.

Ichigo blinked. "Me?" he asked, though he was used to only Arrancar calling him that.

"Forgive us," replied Kenryū. "We mean your father, Lord Isshin Kurosaki."

"Can we ask why?" inquired Karin.

"It is about an agreement made between Lord Kurosaki and the Kasumiōji Royal Family," the retainer replied.

Ichigo just palmed his face. His father made an agreement with the Kasumiōji family?

**"Run, Forest! Run!"** came the cackle from his Hollow.

* * *

Isshin Kurosaki, former Captain within the Gotei 13, father of three, doctor, and pillar of the community, did whatever man would do when a family from the past showed up, requesting him to honor an old agreement.

That was one of the many reasons he was now tied up to a chair at the dining room table, struggling to get free.

"We find this most odd," stated Rurichiyo, as she sipped the tea Yuzu had provided.

"Okay, old man," stated Ichigo, glaring at his father, "exactly what agreement did you make with the Kasumiōji family?"

"The who?" asked Isshin.

"Is this … normal?" asked Kenryū.

Karin nodded sadly.

"Gotei 13, former captain, Shinigami; anything ringing a bell?" asked Ichigo.

"I didn't say anything!" bellowed Kon, nervously hiding behind the corner.

"Eek!" squealed Yuzu. "Bostov! You can talk!"

"Help!" screamed the lion plushie, as he took off, Yuzu hot on his tail.

"Well, now that she's gone," sighed Karin, "Ichigo, does this have to do with you running around in that black cloak?"

Ichigo nodded. "Might as well come clean, old man. I know, Karin has hints, and Yuzu…

"I'm really not sure about her half the time, but sooner or later, she'll know too."

Seeing that further denials were useless, the goofy expression fell from the man's face. "How long have you known, Ichigo?"

"Long enough," said teen replied, hoping to avoid a lengthy discussion about exactly when he learned of his father's past. "Now, the agreement?"

Sighing and to the astonishment of most of those at the table, the ropes slid off him, allowing him to place his arms on the table. "Long ago, before I left Soul Society for your mother, I saved the royal family of the Kasumiōji from a Hollow attack while they were traveling out of Soul Society and through District 2. As such, they invited me to their home and offered to adopt me into their clan."

"It was a glorious tale!" cried Kenryū, Enryū mimicking his movements, tears flowing from their eyes.

"Later," waved off Ichigo, knowing his father would use anything to delay finishing their chat.

"Anyway," restarted Isshin, glaring at his son, "I was unable to accept at the time, fearful it would slow my plans to win your mother's heart, so an alternative was reached."

**"Still time to run, King."**

Ichigo was beginning to see the wisdom in that idea. "And that was?"

Here, Kenryū stepped in. "The agreement was that should Lord Kurosaki have a child of opposite gender, that of the Kasumiōji Royal Family, the two would be betrothed to be wed, uniting them."

Ichigo blinked … and blinked … and blinked.

"… You engaged Ichigo before he was even born?" asked Karin.

"WHAT?" yelled Yuzu, peeking around the corner with Kon in her arms—the plushie now wearing a sailor fuku. "Big brother is getting married?

**THUMP!**

Everyone turned, spotting Ichigo had collapsed onto the table. _NO! Not another loli!_ he thought, tempted to start banging his head on the table.

_My old man pulled a Genma._ He should have listened to his inner spirits and made a run for it.

"We are wondering when the wedding will take place?" asked Rurichiyo.

Her two retainers looked nervous, not wanting to inform their charge about the rumors among the clan heads, especially Kumoi.

"Oh! Can I be the flower girl?" asked Yuzu.

"Is this even legal?" asked Karin. "She can't be older than us!"

"Royal families do things differently," stated Isshin, before his usual goofy personality reappeared. "WAH! I'LL HAVE A NEW DAUGHTER SOON!"

Ichigo was never more grateful when his badge went off, alerting him to a nearby Hollow.

* * *

**New Loop #6:**

Ichigo stood there, looking before him, cursing his luck sometimes.

Rukia was there in her energy-dampening gigai, Renji and Byakuya there to 'arrest' her, Uryū on the ground. Yep, he was back to before they went to Soul Society.

More importantly—in Ichigo's mind, so it was really what counted—was that they were before he had unlocked Zangetsu, which meant he would have to use the release phrase.

Saying, "Chase away the rain" again in front of these people was not something he wanted to do again. They always found a way to rib him about it.

Luckily, after the last Loop, he didn't have that issue. The fact he could use it to mess with Byakuya was just icing on the cake—really. "You guys aren't really bright, you know that."

"Excuse me?" growled Renji.

"Just an observation," Ichigo replied, kneeling beside Uryū. "From what I've learned, from what they did to the Bount, the Quincy, the Vizards, just about anything really, Soul Society is run by a bunch of morons, bullies, and incompetents.

"Honestly, I'm more surprised that the coup already underway took so long to make a public move like this."

"Coup?" asked Renji, pointing his zanpakutō at Ichigo.

"Ask Aizen, Gin, and Tōsen when you get back," replied Ichigo, reaching into his hakama and withdrew a second zanpakutō, one other than the oversized blade on his back. This zanpakutō took the form of a katana with a dull red sheath, purple hilt-wrapping and a guard in a shape similar to the Kidō Corps' emblem, consisting of a circle with a pentagon-like shape in the center and three points protruding from the edges evenly spaced apart. "I figure Little Byakuya might recognize this one."

"Explain," the Kuchiki Head.

Ichigo smirked. "I guess you could say I'm special, I can sync with any zanpakutō spirit. And this one finds me a lot better than his old Master—namely because I'm not psycho and believe myself to be all-powerful."

"That's impossible!" yelled Renji.

Ichigo just smirked. "Not my fault you aren't able to harmonize with Zabimaru, let alone other zanpakutō," replied Ichigo, giving the Lieutenant a pitying glare.

"What you say is impossible, and taboo," replied Byakuya.

Sighing, Ichigo let his power flow into the zanpakutō, even as he felt Zangetsu become slightly miffed that Ichigo wasn't using him. "Here, I'll make it simple.

"Whisper, Muramasa," he replied, as the zanpakutō spirit materialized next to Ichigo.

The spirit snorted lightly. "You know, this is quite ironic. Truly, I am glad I joined with you, despite Zangetsu's … displeasure."

"Yeah, he gets like that," replied Ichigo. "Go ahead."

Renji smartly concluded that waiting for whatever the empowered soul had in mind was probably a bad idea. Zanpakutō drawn, he prepared to strike down the man who he viewed as responsible for Rukia being arrested.

He didn't count on his strike being blocked by a new arrival.

"My, my, Renji," said the deep female voice, holding an eerily familiar zanpakutō that was blocking his, "now you show some spirit."

"Hey, Chimpette, my turn!" cried a boy with a snake-themed outfit, launching into the air as the named Chimpette forced Renji back. In a flash, the girl's zanpakutō vanished, only to reappear in the snake-themed boy's hands as he struck Renji.

"Nice move, Snakey."

"Scatter."

Eyes wide, Byakuya turned around, spotting a masked samurai holding a zanpakutō, which was quickly coming apart into vibrant sakura-like petals.

"What-what is going on?" gasped Rukia.

Ichigo just smiled. "You know, I've always wanted to lead a revolution."

* * *

**New Loop #7:**

Ichigo just sighed happily, as he followed the other students of the Shinōreijutsuin made their way towards the courtyard. Opening ceremonies were a day off, but now they were to meet their fellow students, get their schedules, and dorm assignments.

Not that he minded much. This was something new, so he could spend time having unique and original experiences before. Sure, he'd spent some time in the Shinōreijutsuin during his Loops. However, this was in the past, beyond even when Ranma and Naruto had arrived. The Gotei 13 had some different captains, different teachers—oddly, even the current Kuchiki head was mellow compared to Byakuya and his grandfather.

Sadly, he had yet to get to the Living World to find a calendar to learn just how far back he was. Soul Society seemed to run on a different calendar system than any he had ever heard of before—making him wonder if Rukia was really as old as she said she was.

Nevertheless, for now, it was perfect—schooling aside. No Hōgyoku had been made yet, so no loli-arrancar to chase after him, no cursed stone seeking him out like Chizuru to Orihime, no Vizards, no women chasing him what so ever, no grand destiny before him.

Now, in this world, he was simply Ichigo Kurosaki, new admittance to the Shinōreijutsuin, ready to begin his first year—and soon to be honor student. After all, how many came into the Shinigami Academy knowing a good bit of for Zanjutsu, Hakuda, Hohō, and Kidō, with Bankai and Shikai, and he had an ace in the hole with his Inner Hollow.

If only he could change that damned Shikai Release phrase.

Oh well, he'd worry about that later—and continue his quest to see if he could bribe the old man to finally change it to something kick-ass. For now, he had new people, no old friends about, and a new experience to get to.

"Wow, poor bastard got placed close to the showers," stated one guy, as Ichigo approached the room assignment board.

"So what, we got close to the best girls' dorm!"

Ichigo smirked. The idiots didn't realize the other half of that argument. The best female dorm was usually filled with the ladies from royal families or those that were high up in Soul Society, thus they'd have the best security, and peepers would be more likely to be 'damaged' when caught.

_Well, not too bad, I guess,_ he mused, seeing that like the soon-to-be missing guys before him, he too was in the men's dorm closest to the high-class girls' dorm. _Just have to hope none of the guys near me are royal idiots here to party and avoid Daddy's orders._

He was about to turn away and head to pick up his schedule when he caught sight of the name of his roommate. He paled, fear growing in him as he heard his Inner Hollow cackle with glee.

"Hey, Yoruichi, I got the dorm right next to yours!" he heard an all-too familiar voice.

"Kisuke, my retainers are following us. What did I tell you about that?"

"Keep the celebratory sake out of sight?" asked the man.

The tanned girl nodded in agreement. "Aside from that?"

"Find out how much liquor my roommate can hold for poker night?"

"Aside from that?"

"If this is about homework issues and—"

"Damn it, Kisuke; I was referring to proper protocol, lest they go tell my parents that I'm not acting as befitting the future heiress of the Shihōin clan.

"Now, let's see who are roommates are."

Ignoring them, Ichigo trudged towards the schedule pick-up area. "I can't win," he muttered. "Deep in the past, they're still haunting me." Maybe he could see if when those two perverts in front of him were killed for peeking on royal ladies, he could get their room. Had to be better than rooming with Kisuke.

* * *

**New Loop #8:**

"Just stop already!" called out Ichigo, exasperated over Rukia's mumblings.

"But don't you see, Ichigo; the rare opportunity we have!" she stated, slamming her hand into her palm. "We could master Zanjutsu, Hakuda, Hohō, and Kidō! We could achieve the ultimate expression of our zanpakutō! Who knows how strong we could be when this is over, what we could do?"

"… You're still pissed about Aaroniero Arruruerie and Yammy Riyalgo, aren't you?" he asked, eying her.

"What? No! Of course, not!" she stated angrily. "I am simply approaching this in a calm and rational method," Rukia stated, adopting a pose reflecting that.

"…Right," muttered Ichigo.

"I'm not!"

"Rukia, you're petting Sode no Shirayuki and going, 'Soon, my precious'."

The Shinigami blushed, putting her zanpakutō behind her back. "Just a pep talk, that's all. Sode no Shirayuki is very upset about all this."

Ichigo just gave her a hooded glare. Normal, he might be more accepting of her eccentric actions—maybe even a little afraid of what she might do if she ever recalled some of the things he did to her during the Loops.

However, given that Rukia helped get a reality-altering bauble imbedded in his body in less than a day after the Loop started, he felt it was okay to be—no pun intended—short to her.

"Well, what have you been doing?" demanded Rukia. "Have you asked the Gotei 13 to help solve this? Have you mastered your abilities? Have you refined the ability to use spiritual energy?"

"… No, I've just been using it to sleep with every girl I've known or will know," he said dully.

"… **WHAT?**" Rukia yelled.

* * *

"Can I remove the gag? Or will you keep overreacting to a joke?" he asked the bound Kuchiki.

She just glared at him, eye narrowed

"You really should calm down, Mistress," Sode no Shirayuki stated calmly. "It was just a joke."

Nodding, Ichigo hid any trace of smugness or satisfaction. It hadn't **totally** a joke. There was after all, only so much one could do to alleviate boredom. Attempting to repeat the Loop where he had ended up drunk and sleeping with Orihime and Tatsuki still occupied his time.

He'd have memories to go with that, so help him! He didn't want that beating and spending the rest of that Loop confined to an intensive care ward, to be for nothing!

Huffing in her gag, Rukia nodded.

Removing it, Ichigo knelt beside her. "You ready to discuss this civilly?" he asked.

"Depends," Rukia growled. "Did you sleep with anyone? And was I one of those people?"

Giving her a stare that would have made Ryūken Ishida impressed, he replaced her gag. "Sorry, that secret is something you aren't ready for."

He wasn't surprised when her struggles doubled. _This is going to be one of those Loops the others warned me about, I just know it,_ he thought sadly.

"By all rights, I should attack you now and free her," stated Sode no Shirayuki.

* * *

"Son, I don't mean to pry," spoke Isshin, "but why do you have two women tied up in your room?"

"Magic tricks for a talent show," Ichigo replied, looking at the paper. "They said they could escape those ropes in no time.

"That was over an hour ago."

"Shouldn't you let them loose?" asked Karin.

"Then they'd never learn," replied Ichigo.

"Big brother is tying up women?" asked Yuzu.

"Well, son, explain it to your sister," stated Isshin.

"He taught me," Ichigo instantly replied, pointing at his father.

"WHAT?" yelled Isshin, as Yuzu turned her puppy-dog eyes on her father to find out why she was teaching her brother to do such perverted things.

Taking the distraction for what it was worth, he slipped away. Eventually, Sode no Shirayuki would simply freeze the ropes, shatter them, and then help Rukia escape.

Never underestimate the power of a strategic retreat with an excellent head start.

**"I-CHI-GO!"**

"Head start over with," he stated quickly, wondering if he could hide out at Chizuru's until Rukia calmed down. She'd never suspect him there … hopefully.

* * *

**New Loop #9:**

"_Well, has it been done?"_

_"As you commanded, Mistress," stated Aizen, glasses on denoting he was still playing the loyal Captain, bowing on the screen before his apparent leader. "Central 46 has been eliminated. We are moving onto the next stage."_

_"Excellent," the female stated, cackling quietly. "You shall be rewarded!"_

_"Mistress is too kind."_

_"Just remember, I do not take disappointment nor failure well, as your two partners can attest to," she finished coldly._

_Aizen actually gulped audibly, before nodding. "I understand, Mistress."

* * *

_

"And that's where the footage ends," stated Kisuke.

Ichigo opened his mouth to respond, before shutting it with a click.

Rukia just blinked in shock. "Is she …?"

"No, she's not possessed, under any control, or being coerced in any way," Kisuke responded. "She is doing that of her own volition."

Ichigo finally found his voice. "Do you … do you think she was always like this?"

"Doubtful," Kisuke replied. "Truthfully, I believe this is simply one of those occasional hiccups the Loops get."

"Well, we hope," replied Rukia. "Maybe I can stay with Orihime now."

"Wait, what about me?" asked Ichigo.

"That would be improper. See if Ishida or Chad will let you crash at their places."

Twitching, Ichigo turned towards Kisuke.

"Sorry, no room, what with all the freeloaders I'll be getting in a few weeks."

Letting out a heavy breath, Ichigo returned to staring at the scream.

Yuzu, secretly was controlling Aizen and his group. That and the look of sheer evil in her eyes were wrong on so many levels.


End file.
